Sex Techniques and Positions

The best guide to sex positions and lovemaking techniques on the Internet.

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Home ] The Coital Alignment Technique ] Fifty Mistakes Men Make During Sex ] [ Fifty Mistakes Women Make During Sex ] Controlling Premature Ejaculation ] Sex Advice For Women ] How To Have Better Orgasms ] Your Favorite Sex Positions! ] The Art Of Great Sex For Men and Women ] Sensual and Sexual Massage ] Ways To Drive A Man Wild In Bed ] Ways To Drive A Woman Wild In Bed ] How To Have An Orgasm ] Facts on average sexual frequency & partners ]

Fifty Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex

1 Thinking he should be ready for sex whenever you want it

Just because men are supposed to have a high sex drive doesn't mean that they want sex all the time! If you decide you want sex, and he isn't in the mood, don't feel offended and think that he's doing it deliberately - he's probably heard the same thing from you many more times!

Instead, use your feminine charms to seduce him. Let's face it, women will always know how to get a man interested......and if he really isn't, the answer is in your hands. You know where your clit is, so use it.

2 Believing that kissing has to be sweet and romantic

Sometimes the force of his passion will seem overwhelming to you. Suppose you'd like to have a gentle romantic session of kissing?

Then, when you start, he begins to get passionate and starts to kiss you, shall we say, rather energetically. What to do? Maybe in these circumstances you should just surrender to passion and leave the romance for later?

3 Thinking men are responsible for giving you an orgasm

Hey honey, it's YOUR orgasm, not his. He can't give it to you, he can only help you get there. And that's true even though he might think it's his job. So don't sit back and do nothing - tell him what you want, and if he isn't doing it properly, how you'd like it to be done. And above all, give him feedback. he's not a mind-reader.

4 Wondering why he has to go to sleep after sex

It's just natural. Sometimes he might want to cuddle you; sometimes he won't. While your orgasm makes you want to talk, bond and exchange sweet nothings, he wants to sleep. You just have to accept it isn't personal.

5 Never trying any new sex positions

For men, variety is the spice of life, at least as far as sex is concerned, and you need to know how much he'll appreciate trying some new sex positions from time to time. And you might just find it exciting as well, when you present your butt to him for a quick New from behind! If you want slow loving sex, try the side by side positions, and if you want some more excitement, try riding him in the woman on top positions. You don't just have to be a good girl in the missionary position all the time!

5 Hoping he'll fall asleep with you in his arms

Yes, it's a lovely idea, but actually it's not going to happen every time you have sex. And it can be very uncomfortable. Why not settle for a cuddle, back to front, spooning, after sex, so you can both go to sleep in comfort?

6 Expecting him to be romantic and charming all the time

Remember, neither man nor woman can live by romance alone - no matter what passes for it in your household. Sometimes a man's just gotta be a man.

And while that doesn't mean he should never be romantic, it just isn't in a man's nature to be romantic all the time, much as you might like it. Think of it this way - it's a bit like him expecting you to behave like a female porn star all the time.

7 Thinking sex is just about your pleasure

I guess a lot of women think men are selfish in bed, but then they don't think how they might please a you suck his cock? Ask him if he'd like to try a little role play? Find out what he likes to have done to him?

If not, stop reading the sensational crap in women's magazines, and start asking your partner what he wants, and consider what sex can offer both of you within your relationship!

8 Reading the sex articles in magazines and thinking the advice they give is any good

Believe me, you're never going to learn anything useful from magazine articles entitled "Ways to drive a man wild in bed". Websites like this one, though, well, that's a different matter altogether. Seriously, the best way to enjoy sex is to be aroused. The best way to be aroused is to be emotionally connected and intimate with your partner. It really is that simple.

9 Moaning about when he pushes your head towards his penis for oral sex

Well, true, he could just ask you for it, but then on the other hand maybe he's sent you enough signals to tell you what he wants and you just ignored them? Men like oral sex, they like it a lot, and they want you to give it to them. You don't, by the way, have to swallow, but couldn't you at least try, for the sake of his pleasure?

10 Lying there like a log without responding

Unless you've agreed he can have a quickie, without complications, lying there without moving isn't going to send him a positive message.

Mind you, even if you did agree he could have a quickie it still isn't sending a good message. All you have to do is move about a bit. Meet his energy, even when he's on top. Thrust yourself, for heaven's sake - introduce a bit of your own sexual energy into intercourse. That way it will be better for both of you.

11 Expecting him to undress himself nicely each time

A lot of things done by men don't suit women. But let me tell you a secret. If you try and change him, you'll fail. If you moan at him too much, he might get so pissed off he leaves. That's what men do.

What women don't generally understand is how to get a man to do what they want. So here it is: you ask, directly and clearly. You don't drop hints or make indirect suggestions - men won't pick up on them.

 So if you'd like him to take his clothes off before he gets into bed, or you'd prefer him not to leave his socks on when he mounts you, you need to tell him: "It pisses me off when you make love to me with your socks on. I want you to take them off." If he asks why, you just say: "Because that's what I want, OK? Will you do it?"

Now, the other side of this coin is that at times he will be so desperate for sex with you that taking his clothes off nicely is the last thing he wants to do. However you approach the subject at times like this, he may well react rather judge it right, and if your lovemaking isn't the culmination of a romantic evening for two, where you want to be treated gracefully, let him indulge himself once in a while by having sex with his socks (or whatever) on.

12 Not shaving - at least occasionally

It could be he's one of the guys who gets off on websites like But then again, he might like you to look a little bit feminine, with your legs shaved and your armpits waxed.

I'm not saying you need to do this, and you certainly don't need to shave your pussy if you don't want, but surely it's nice to destubble for him once in a while rather than just doing it when you go the spa, isn't it? Besides which, if you don't shave, why should he?

13 Letting your bush get too big

Unless he's a fan of ...oh, no, we already did that joke. OK, trim that hair, even if you don't want to shave. For one thing, it'll make oral sex much more peasant for you both - he won't have to keep stopping to remove pubes from his teeth, and it'll be smoother for you.

On the other hand, if he intimates that he'd like your bush to look like the Amazon jungle, and you don't mind a bit of fluff, well, it could be a match made in a heavenly jungle paradise.

14 Assuming that sex means a relationship

Uh-ho. Did you make it clear to him before you started out that this was the beginning of a life-long relationship? As others have said, he might think the only relationship you have is that he's stuck his cock in your pussy and you both had a bit of fun doing it. That might be it, unless you agreed otherwise beforehand!

15 Not having sex when you're on your period

If you don't want to have sex when you're bleeding - though you might even find it erotic - then give him oral sex. If you don't even feel like that, give him a helping hand. If the problem's more about the mess than anything else, then use a condom for sex, and let him enjoy sex with you using a rubber.

16 Expecting him to know what you like if you lie there silently (or just grunt at him)

No matter how passionate the sex, there's always room for words. Even if they come out one at a time: "Harder, faster, lighter, left, right." He's not a mind reader, and he needs the feedback, OK?

17 Leaving contraception to him

The clued-up girl knows that condoms are a joint responsibly. If one of you is overcome with passion, and you're ready to have sex without protection in the heat of the moment, it's the other's duty to remind you about AIDS and so on...that might be you, it might be him, but your joint responsibility is to protect yourself and your partner.

It takes two to tango, remember? Keeping a box of condoms by your bed doesn't mean anything - except maybe that you're a sensible, mature woman with an active sex life. Good for you.

18 Getting upset if he talks dirty

Unless he's being offensive, he probably just says these things to get an extra thrill. Let's face it, men like to think of a "good girl" turning dirty on them in the bedroom, and there's an air of the forbidden about having sex with a "dirty slut" (whatever that means for him).

You never know, it might get you going too! (But it's not OK if he talks to you like that all the time, too much of the time, or more than you like.)

19 Refusing to be spontaneous

Yes, sex exists all over, in the woods, the fields, in cars, the stairwells of public buildings, in the changing rooms at the local pool....just be wise enough to know when the risk isn't acceptable, but puts you in danger of a court appearance. Sex positions are important in more ways than one!

20 Asking him "How it was for you, dear?"

Let's face it. From a man's point of view, there are only three sorts of sex: good sex, better sex and the best sex. So you don't need to ask if he enjoyed it, because you can assume that he did. Especially if he ejaculated inside you - that makes it very good for him.

You might want love and emotion, but for him, the physical pleasure of sex can be reward in itself. So don't ask if he enjoyed it - it makes you look needy. If he doesn't tell you how good it was, how lovely you are, and how good he felt, dump him and get a lover who lets you know that he appreciates you.

20 Avoiding quickies because you want slow, sensual sex

Sex is a many splendored thing. Sometimes it takes a while, and the energy is slow and sensuous - sometimes it's quick and powerful. If you just want someone so badly that you can't wait, then why not do it now, fast and furious, half-dressed on the floor?

21 Being too shy to tell him what he can and can't do before sex starts

Make it all clear - for example, if he asks you if he can come in your mouth, and you giggle like a girlie, and say "no" like it's a joke, don't act surprised when you end up with a mouthful of goo. You have a responsibility to make the ground rules clear before you get into bed.

22 Expecting him to undress you as you'd undress yourself

Men know about flies and buttons. They may not know about bras and the need not to stretch your special lace panties as they pull them off over your butt. If he shows signs of wanting to undress you, let him; if he fumbles the fastenings, help him out.

23 Taking your clothes off in the dark

If you're a bit on the shy side, turn down the lights, but give him something to see. That's what turns him on, that's what he likes - to see your naked or semi-naked body. That's what gets him excited, possibly erect, and certainly ready for sex. And don't think that ripping your clothes off and diving under the duvet will leave him happy!

If he has premature ejaculation, he can retrain his body to react to your charms more slowly by using this program which shows you how to last longer during sex, which you can find here, described in great detail.

24 Refusing to get on top

There's no reason why men should have to do all the thrusting, and in any case, sex with the woman on top is just as good as man on top sex. Start by taking a look at the pictures of sex positions on this site and then try something new, for goodness' sake.

25 Getting that bored look on your face

So you might be a bit bored - then why aren't you telling him how he can make sex better for you? And because he likes to look at you, why not give him something titillating to look at?

For example, climb on top and arch your back a little bit. Thrust your breasts towards him. Suck his cock, with you on top and him lying on his back, with your butt in his face, and let him enjoy the sight, scent, and maybe the taste, of your rear end.

If that's too much for you, move about a bit, at least! In fact, do something to show him that you're not dead and that you might just be enjoying yourself!

26 Expecting him to make you come when you're riding him

It's your body, you know (presumably) what turns it on. If you aren't getting enough stimulation, go into what you're feeling, let your wild woman loose, play with your tits, finger your clit, make a bit of noise and do something - anything - to make his job easier.

27 Being too afraid to show your partner how to touch you

If he's not getting it right, and you're not feeling stimulated, excited or thrilled by his touch, then take his hand and move it the way you'd like him to do it. If he's got any sensitivity at all, he'll soon catch on.

29 Refusing to let him take control

So you call yourself a feminist, heh? So what? If he takes control during sex, it doesn't mean he's subscribing to the patriarchy. It means he's taking charge during sex. Your turn next time, maybe?

30 Refusing to take control

You gotta know this, girl: it's not the man's job to start sex every time. Why don't you try leading him to the bedroom, pushing him onto the bed, and getting on top of him with your hand on his cock? He might just get the message!

31 Overlooking his body

Even if he doesn't know it yet, he has a body too, and it likes to be touched in all the same places as yours - thighs, back, legs, knees, toes, head, scalp, stomach and so on - and it likes to be kissed in these places as well. Give it a go, and don't just focus on his cock and balls.

32 Overlooking his balls

Seriously, his balls are not there just to make splooge for him to shoot onto or into you (much as he might like that). They have a life of their own, and they like to be taken notice of. Kiss them, suck them, take them into your mouth and play with them with your tongue.

Apart from the fact that this is damn sexy for both of you, he'll appreciate the attention paid to them, and he won't come as fast as he would if you were playing with his cock.

33 Leaving him to his own devices

Nothing is more confusing than having a girl who gets a guy most of the way but then decides that's enough and bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess. You started it - you go through with it!

35 You want him to handle you like you're fragile porcelain?

Well, unless he really thrusts hard you won't break. Just accept this fact: sex can be rough and sex can be gentle, and sometimes lust takes over. That can be true for you too, if you let it, so if he wants sex with you standing against the wall, or he wants to thrust hard while you bounce up and down on the bed, why not enjoy it, and laugh about it later instead of moaning that sex should be all gentle and romantic?

36 Refusing to try things in the name of "making love"

You're naked, and you're having sex, which means you want to be trying out some new and exciting ideas. That goes along with the strange faces you pull and the funny noises you make - sex isn't all romance and lovey-dovey lovemaking, you know.

37 Taking things much too seriously

Sex can be funny if you let it, you know! In fact, it can be hilarious, and if you fall off the bed, come on the dog, lose your false teeth or get your tights stuck up your crack, it doesn't matter - what matters is that you laugh about tit

38 Throwing a fit when he asks for a threesome

It's a male thing - a fantasy that almost every man has, but do you really want to turn it into reality? OK, if he asks, let him know how you feel. One request is OK: going on about it less so.

39 Sucking his cock when he's least expecting it

This is a bit like him just assuming he's going to have sex without asking and grabbing your tits. You need a certain amount of consent in these things. The problem is, if he doesn't want you to suck his cock he most likely won't tell you in case you never suck it again. So be sensitive. You don't want him standing there feeling like a spare prick at a wedding while you suck his cock, thinking he's enjoying it.

40 Nails

It's one thing gently teasing his back with them - it's quite another digging them in and screaming as you come. Know the difference!

41 Bitching when you get semen on your body, sheets, towels, whatever

Well, it happens - in fact, it might even be the whole point of sex, so stop moaning about it. Just prevent it, if it bothers you, by telling him where you don't want him to come: that might be on some part of you, your furnishings, your dog....whatever.

42 Not making any noises at all

He'll not be very encouraged to go on at oral sex if you don't give him a clue that you're still alive and enjoying it. If it's the full monte (i.e. Newing) you're doing, then moan, mutter his name, scream or shout - anything - in a way that suggests he's giving you a good time, even if he isn't. You can always help by moving around a bit and frigging your clit so it gets more exciting for you both.

43 Faking orgasms

This is a seriously bad idea. If he thinks you really are coming, then whatever he's doing right now that isn't getting you off, is reinforced. How then do you ever admit that you were lying? Simply tell the truth and find another way to get off or get some tuition on relationships and dating - for example, from the Tao Of Badass (which you can see by clicking here)- and learning to be more sensitive to women's needs.

44 Not washing before sex

While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, it's never as nice as it might be if one of you is a little - well, ripe. Take the time to prepare - even if it's earlier in the day - if you plan to have sex. While a twelve hour unwashed body might be perfectly acceptable, and a twenty four hour old body fine if you aren't planning on getting your faces into each other's genitals, it's only a matter of consideration for your partner to be clean when you get intimate.

45 Trying new and threatening stuff without checking first

Whether that's tying her up with handcuffs or inserting a dildo up his bottom, you have a responsibility to check out with your partner first the riskier edges of sex.

Consensual sex is great - when you move into the territory of coercion, you touch issues of dominance and submission that are better talked before they are worked out in bed.

46 Refusing to use lube, creams, foods, other accessories

Sure, this is similar to the point above, but there's less of an element of coercion if you get out a tube of lube and suggest you try it during sex. The same goes for tubs of whipped cream, body oil, and strawberries on her nipples.

47 Doing all of your before bed things before sex

You don't want to sleep with makeup on, for sure. But while your partner's waiting with a hard-on is not necessarily the time to start your end-of-day beauty routine. Use your sense so that the flow of sex is not interrupted, and you can enjoy intimacy without feeling pressurised about make-up, creams and lotions.

48 Cleaning up after sex

I once met a woman who was incredibly upset that her husband ran to the bathroom immediately after sex, "to wash my juices off his cock," as she put it.

The same is true in reverse. While you, as a woman, might feel you want to wipe off his spunk, think how much more relaxed and accepting it is to lie there for a while with all your sex juices adorning your body before you wash.

If you do want to clean up after sex, how about keeping a nice warm washcloth handy, and wiping your self (and maybe his cock) gently before you settle down for a cuddle?

And by the way, changing the sheets straight after sex and then washing everything that might have touched your naked bodies is not such a romantic thing either.....

49 Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on

As a man, I just want you to know, this happens. It doesn't mean you're suddenly unattractive, he's shagging Tricia from the office, your bum's too big, your tits too floppy, or anything else.

It just means he lost his erection, OK? Don't try and console him by saying things like "it happens to all men" or "it doesn't matter." For one thing, he knows the first isn't true, and for another it does matter to him. Just do something different (get him to give you head) and put the main event off until another time or day.

50 Asking questions right after sex

Now, you know how you hate it when he asks "Was it good for you?" Well, how about the womanly "What does this mean about us?" The simple answer is, it means you had sex, OK? Postpone any discussions about lifelong commitment, marriage and children until later.