Sex Techniques and Positions
The best guide to sex positions and lovemaking techniques on the Internet.
Tricks and Techniques
Ways to drive a man wild in bed
1 Give him pleasure with sex, masturbation and oral sex with energy and enthusiasm!
But not necessarily all at once! Seriously, this simply means: be uninhibited. Find out what he likes, and go for it. He'll certainly appreciate the attention and the sexual energy.
For example, he will want you to handle his penis more firmly than you would ever consider handling your clitoris - don't make the mistake of assuming that what's good for you will also be good for him. It may not be. Ask him to show you what he likes, and then ask him to tell you if you're doing it right.
Having said that, a feather light touch on his penis with a wet hand can be exquisite, and may excite him greatly: but as he gets near his orgasm, he'll definitely want a firmer hand.
When you're sucking his cock, do it with enthusiasm. If you genuinely don't like giving him fellatio, it's probably better to tell him this and see if you can work through the problem together than to try and fool him into thinking you're enjoying it.
Men are extremely keen on fellatio, and they see it as the ultimate expression of acceptance by a woman. It's important to him that you do it right - so try different movements of your lips and tongue, and listen to his moans of pleasure to tell you what you should focus on and how he likes to be stimulated in your mouth.
There's no room for restraint in giving to each other sexually, between two people who are in love, especially when this very intimate act can make him feel deeply loving towards you - not to mention extremely sexually satisfied!
2 Stimulate his balls, perineum, nipples and anus - and all the rest of his body
Two very sensitive spots on a man's body are his perineum and his anus. If you play with these as you masturbate him or give him oral sex, and especially as he ejaculates, you'll increase his pleasure and the intensity of his orgasm a great deal. If he's willing, a finger up his anus (but make sure you use plenty of lube) can add greatly to his pleasure when he reaches orgasm, especially if you massage his prostate.
Though he may have some inhibitions about anal play, which is fair enough - it's not everyone's ball-game - if you can persuade him to experiment, he may find that it's something he wants to do more often. Many men know this already, having discovered during masturbation that a finger on the anus (or inside it) adds a lot to the experience, but he might be a bit shy about sharing this with you. Just check it out by asking him if he'd like to try it!
3 Be bold, be sexy, be wild! Don't be afraid to act like a rude girl in bed!
Nothing kills sexual excitement faster than boring routine. Well, that may not be true if both partners are happy with routine and find it fulfilling, but most couples like to have a bit of spice from time to time.
So - shed your inhibitions. Cast them to the winds! If
you're a woman who thinks girls should all be "good" in bed, then try something
different -talk dirty, thrust vigorously when he's on top, take the initiative
instead of letting him lead during sex, get on top of him and ride him like a
cowgirl, try dressing up in sexy clothes (black suspender belts always seem
popular with men), or visit the sex shop together....anything for a bit of
variety.....but try being "a rude girl" once in a while!
Book a romantic break for your both. Surprise him with a romantic holiday in a luxury hotel or a camping trip with a shared sleeping bag. Anything that gets you in close proximity and ready to relax, without worrying about the pressures of day to day life can do wonders for your sex life.
5 Have sex at different times of the day
If you always have sex in the morning, try it in the afternoon. If you have it in the afternoon, try it at night. If you....well, you get the idea. Book time for sex together in your schedule and try doing it at a time when you usually don't think of it...you might be surprised how naughty and sexy this feels!
6 Don't forget role play and dressing up may excite you both
Men are - as you well know - very visual. They are turned on by what they see, and this includes you! It may turn your man on even faster if you dress up for him in a way that he finds sexually exciting.
This might mean stockings and suspenders, it might mean blue gym knickers, or it might mean a nurse's uniform, or indeed anything else.
Whatever it is, accept it as part of his sexuality - if you find it amusing, don't laugh about it: this is just likely to cause an argument or humiliate him.
Besides, you might want to confide your fantasy in him one day, and you wouldn't want him to laugh about it, would you? If you really don't like the role you're being asked to play, then tell him, and see if you can find something that does turn you on. You may find acting out your fantasies is very exciting and adds a massive thrill to sex.
7 Be assertive during sex - take the lead
Men like to lead during sex, but they also like their partners to take the lead from time to time.
You'll find that if you surprise him with an assertive approach to sex from time to time you can turn him on more than you thought possible - but he has to understand the rules of the game: you're in charge!
You might even want to turn this into fantasy play - he has to do everything you say for an evening. In any event, if you seduce him, strip him, mount him, and ride him on top, he'll certainly enjoy it. This kind of role reversal is also helpful for women to discover and express their own powerful sexuality.
8 Be creative in your sex life
Couples can all too easily get stuck in the same place each time they have sex, going through the same moves and enjoying the same positions each time. Yet if you try some new positions for sex, you may find the whole thing becomes much more exciting for you both - at the very least, you'll have fun trying the positions out and seeing what they feel like!
Another thing to experiment with is the use of sex toys. These can add greatly to your pleasure, make it easier for a woman to come, and help a man to discover erogenous zones he didn't know he had. For example, a vibrating anal bullet can stimulate a man's prostate and add a lot of pleasure to his orgasm.
9 Let him use your body in new ways to get pleasure
You may not like it, but men want to ejaculate on you, in you and over you. It excites them! Whatever the reason for this, it can be turned to your advantage by making your man so grateful for the pleasure you give him he'll be happier to do whatever you want - sexually and possibly otherwise!
High on the list of pleasures for a man is to masturbate by thrusting between his partner's well-lubed breasts. You get a great view too, though watch out for his ejaculation - you don't want semen in your eyes. (It stings.)
10 Give him the chance of a quickie each week
You may have noticed that men don't always go for the whole romance thing! There are times when a man's need for sex can be as powerful and fundamental as his need to drink and eat - and that may not match his partner's sexual drive. This potential mismatch is the downside of the male sex drive.
Powerful as it is, it needs some form of expression - and one of the ways you might choose to let your partner express his sexuality is by giving him a quickie once a week: a chance to ejaculate without frills, fuss or foreplay.
Sure, you'll need lube, but as long as you don't feel like a sex object, and you recognize that he gets great pleasure from being able to do this with the woman he loves, or at least respects, then it can be a great way to keep a man happy. In return, you have every right to expect him to be sensitive to your needs for romance and affection. (If he isn't - tell him what you want!)
11 Don't use sex as a weapon
It's a mistake to withhold sex as a tool of manipulation. Men don't respect manipulative strategies around something that's so important to them, and women probably don't appreciate the resentment that it causes.
Of course, men can be guilty of this as well, so the real answer is for both partners to learn how to communicate openly and naturally.
12 Respect your man and he will cherish you
As a general rule, men like to be respected, even if it's only for being able to open jam jars or change the oil in the car. Competence is important to a man, and he usually finds some field in which he can show you his talents.
No matter how simple this is, the best thing you can do to make him feel fulfilled is to respect him for this - and all the other things he does for you, and for who he is and what he gives you. By respecting him, he is much more likely to express his love for you because he feels more of a man. When he feels like that, he's more likely to give you the cherishing love you expect and deserve.
13 Don't be a doormat
No matter how much men may like to play at being the big bold man in response to the girly energy you can put out, they will get tired of this sooner rather than later. If you're straightforward, direct and assertive, you're much more likely to get a man's attention, respect and love than if you act "small", or come over as passive and weak.
This includes sex, where it is quite OK for you to show masculine energy (assertive, direct, initiating, demanding, leading and dominant) as often as you care to. You don't have to be a weak, pathetic, feminine thing all the time. In fact, it's better for both of you if you aren't.
14 Teach him what you want during sex
Show him how you like your clitoris and G spot to be touched - coach him in what to do, how fast to move his fingers, how hard to touch you, how to tell when you're approaching orgasm, and thank him for his efforts afterwards!
Above all, don't criticize him, if, for example, you're on your way to orgasm and you suddenly lose it. No matter how irritated this makes you feel, you gotta assume he didn't; do it deliberately to frustrate you, and if you criticize his efforts, you might find he's less willing to do it again.
15 Women come first
Most men sadly don't last especially long during sex, and they need to be motivated to change. If you're with a man who can't or won't learn to last longer, then you might want to adapt. Tell him you won't tolerate selfish behavior during sex, and you want to have an orgasm!
The way to do it is this: tell him to give you cunnilingus until you come, then enjoy intercourse. He will appreciate the warmth and wetness of your vagina, and though this may make him come even more quickly, at least you get an orgasm before he enters you. If he says he'll fuck you first, then give you an orgasm, remember that men tend to lose interest once they have ejaculated.
There are ways for him to discover how he can last longer in bed, which involve controlling premature ejaculation by slowing down how quickly he gets aroused during sex. The longer he can hold himself at a level of arousal below the point where he will ejaculate, the better sex will be for both of you.
16 Try acting out your sexual fantasies
Fantasies are generally harmless fun, but they are often best kept in the mind - if you do want to try acting them out, ask your partner first and then see whether you can agree to try them.
It can be sexy fun to exchange fantasies, but it's a good idea to have a "no-laughing" agreement before you start. If your fantasies involve bondage make sure you have a safe word ("sultana" or something equally irrelevant to sex) so that you absolutely know when "no" when your partner means "no".
17 Don't ever fake orgasm just to please him
Most women, as we have sad so many times, do not come through vaginal intercourse. The thrusting motion of the penis is not conducive to female pleasure since it does not stimulate the clitoris. There's no point pretending that you're having an orgasm if you're not: trust and honesty are much more important.
And if you do pretend, how will you ever tell him the truth? This really is one of the worst sexual deceits there is (not up there with having an affair, true, but pretty bad all the same). Get your orgasm before he enters you, and then enjoy the friction and sense of fullness when he fucks you. If you come, perhaps from having a G spot orgasm, it's a bonus.
If you're having trouble reaching orgasm, you can always look at this source of information on how you can make it easier for yourself to enjoy orgasm during sex and overcome anorgasmia - how to have an orgasm during sex.
18 Offer him fellatio - but only swallow if you really want to
You can't really imagine how important it is to your man that you suck his penis. Taking his cock in your mouth is a sign of complete acceptance of him and his maleness, it feels very good indeed, and he likes the way it looks when yo do it!
Of course he may get carried away, so you set the boundaries - tell him what is and isn't OK with you. If you don't want to swallow, then don't: instead, finish him off with your hand.
19 Keep the muscles of your cunt well-exercised and fit
Your cunt is the most precious asset of your goddess being - and it deserves both his respect and yours. He loves it- the taste, the scent, the appearance, in fact everything about it. You should love it too, and keep it fit with Kegel exercises.
This will increase both your pleasure and his, as you grip him while he makes love to you, or before, during and after his orgasm. If you're lucky enough to be able to come through vaginal intercourse, then fit cunt muscles will increase your pleasure enormously.
20 Learn how to masturbate him like he does it himself (or better)
1 Use lots of lubricant such as Probe, Astroglide or even just saliva. Apply it to both of your hands, then loop the fingers and thumb of one of your hands around the bottom of the shaft of his penis - your fingers and thumb will then encircle it. Sweep your fingers up to the glans of his penis in a single movement.
When you reach the top, rotate the palm of your hand across his glans in a smooth motion, so that the soft skin of your palm circles and moves sensuously over his glans. Then return your looped fingers and thumbs to the base of his penile shaft and repeat! This can be exquisite.
2 Alternatively: lubricate your hands, and softly intertwine your fingers like you were clasping your hands. Move your thumbs together, but make sure you leave a space wide enough for his cock between your fingers and thumbs.
Then run your hands up and down his penile shaft, with his cock poking out between your intertwined fingers and your thumbs, possibly adding to his pleasure with a series of twisting, side-to-side rotations when you get to his glans. This all-encompassing technique will probably make him come rather quickly!
3 If he's slow to get hard, lube up your hands and then form a tube around his shaft with the fingers and thumb of one hand. Slide your well-lubed fingers and thumb up and down his shaft, over his coronal ridge, and pull upwards slightly as you go.
Don't go right over the glans, just stop at the ridge. This "hand job" is the one men most often use to get themselves erect or even all the way to orgasm. You can play with his scrotum in your other hand to add extra pleasure to the sensations he feels as you masturbate him like this.
4 Keep one hand wrapped firmly around the base of his shaft as you circle the well-lubricated fingers and thumb of his other hand around his penile shaft, then slide them up and down the full length of his erect and hard penis. Or another idea is to hold the base of his penile shaft with one hand while you run the soft, lubricated palm of your other hand over and around his glans in a smooth, circular fashion.
5 Put the palms of your hands at right angles to each other, make sure they are well-lubed, and then put his penis between them. Move your hands up and down his cock shaft, changing the length of your stroke and/or the speed at which you are moving your hands: make this either a hard and fast or a slow and luxurious hand job.
6 To ring the changes on number 5 above, steeple your hands together, so they form a prayer position, then move your hands up and down his shaft with his penis between the tips of you fingers.......and watch him come with such pleasure!
7 Remember that keeping him on the edge of orgasm for a long time may well help him learn how to last longer during sex.
7 Let him masturbate between your breasts. All men find it an incredible turn-on to have their penis between a woman's breasts. To thrust between them to orgasm is so erotic and incredibly exciting that most men will give anything to have the chance of a "titty fuck"!
You can help him achieve this pleasure by kneeling in front of him so that his penis is about level with your breasts, then let him thrust between your well-lubed breasts, holding them together so they grip his penis.
Lube is essential to make your skin slippery enough for his cock to slide easily; if you don't have any lube handy, just use your saliva. He'll really thank you for this pleasure - men find it so erotic that they tend to come quickly! Masturbating between your breasts like this gives him a vagina-substitute composed of one of the most exciting parts of your body after your vagina.
8 Let him masturbate between your buttocks. Sliding his erect cock between your ass cheeks will not only turn him on, it will make him love you as he sees how happy you are to give him pleasure! He'll really enjoy reaching orgasm in this way, as it provides a massive erotic thrill for him.
21 Make sex special for him!
Penetrative sex is very special for a man because the feelings are so wonderful for him: the combination of your body heat, your vaginal wetness, and the tightness of your cunt around his penis send him into a pleasure zone which you can only imagine! So if you can provide warmth, tightness and wetness when you masturbate him, the more he will want to play sexual games with you!
A long upward stroke and a twist when your hand reaches his glans or coronal ridge will provide great stimulation for your man, but some men have an over-sensitive glans which means that this degree of pressure may not be entirely pleasant.
If your man's penis is uncircumcised, you might find that moving his foreskin back and forwards over his glans, which allows the soft, sensitive skin of his inner foreskin to stimulate his glans, gives him great pleasure - in fact, this may be how he masturbates himself. If his penis has been circumcised, then you must use lube or ask him to show you what gives him the greatest pleasure.
Masturbation can be a sexual goal in itself, or a part of foreplay. Make it last just as long as you both want: it may become an enjoyable part of foreplay prior to intercourse, or it may be a way of giving him pleasure when you don't want penetrative sex. If you don't want penetrative sex, let him know you'll be willing to give him pleasure by hand or in some other way!
Men may be unwilling to try sex toys, but they can be an exciting way of spicing up your sex life and fending off sexual boredom: if your man thinks sex toys are mostly for women, or that having a sex toy means he's going to get it up his ass, then you have some education to do!
Obviously, vibrators are the most familiar toys, and equally obviously, men have don't need a vibrator to reach orgasm in the way that women might, but men can still enjoy playing with a vibrator. They can be an exciting way to stimulate nipples, lips, and mouth; or, more sexually, testicles, scrotum, buttocks, anus, and the penile shaft.
Then again, there are some very sophisticated penis rings or condoms that can be worn during intercourse, and which excite a woman's clitoris as the man thrusts. For added pleasure during sexual intercourse, a woman can insert an egg-shaped vibrator into her rectum so her partner will feel the vibrations in her vagina as he makes love to her.
Small hand-held vibrators can be pressed against his scrotum, perineum or anus as you make love. He may be willing to accept anal play, or even anal penetration, because it feels wonderful and enhances the sensations of orgasm when he ejaculates. It's the same effect as a prostate massage, with a finger inserted through the anal canal.
However, it's important to remember that the lining of the rectum is thinner and more easily damaged than the lining of the vagina, so use a jelly-like soft vibrator. His prostate gland is to be found just inside the inner end of the anal canal, behind the wall of the rectum on the front of his body. It's easy to feel - it's shaped like a walnut - and he'll enjoy the sensation of having it massaged.
As you will know, being a woman, men love to insert their penises into warm wet holes, so an obvious sex toy for a man is the artificial vagina: this mirrors the texture and perhaps the warmth of the vagina, and they are cheap and easy to buy, though how the two of you might use one during sex is best left to the imagination!
Perhaps men like to use them for masturbatory play, where they can let their fantasies run wild.....though you might want to try masturbating your man with the artificial vagina while he enjoys the sensations. Once again, if you use plenty of lube, either natural or artificial, the sensations will be much more pleasurable.
And something else which feeds all men's pleasure - the idea of having a bigger cock - can be at least imagined by using an erection ring, or as they are also known, a cock ring: they make the penis look bigger or harder by closing off the veins at the base of the penis and stopping the outflow of blood. The safest and most attractive penis rings are made from leather: they can provide a thrill from their tightness, appearance, the sensations of wearing one, and the scent of the leather.
And they also hint at bondage, while being perfectly safe and easy to remove. More advanced sex toys include ball separators, heavy weights which can be hung from a man's balls to stretch the scrotum, and harnesses which give the appearance of a bigger and more prominent erection erection.