Advice for men and women - making sexual intercourse better with your lover! Men: if you want your partner to look at you in an admiring light, to see you as a man who knows what's what in bed, try suggesting a new and apparently complicated position for sex. This will have two effects - it'll make you look like a master of bedroom technique, and it'll give you some sexual self-confidence! Cast your mind back to the last new relationship you were in: think how awkward it can be when you meet a new partner and take her to bed for the first time - it's not always the lovely romantic thing it's cracked up to be. You're both a bit anxious, you've never had sex before, and you don't quite know if it's all going to fit together like it should. Trying anything other than the missionary position might seem a bit ambitious, so, paradoxically, suggesting a complicated maneuver might be just what you need to look like a sexual sophisticate! However, remember that some women crave satisfaction rather than impressive technique, so make sure you're master of masturbation and a skillful cunnilinguist before you start getting carried away with stunning bedroom positions. It might also be helpful to get control of your premature ejaculation if you're a bit too quick off the mark!
As for those promising sex positions, the ones which make you look like a sexual maestro, there are a lot of advanced ideas on this website, which you can easily explore further....but in the meantime, here's one to try! It's a variation of rear entry which sounds hard but is well worthwhile (and, actually, pretty easy to do!). Start by sitting in a chair, one with no arms. Have her kneel on all fours in front of you, then lift up her legs and wrap them around your waist. She'll be supporting herself on her hands as you enter her; and you can sit still, thrusting by moving her body back and forth as you move her body with your hands on her hips. You can also put a well-lubed finger on (or even in) her anus, and give her an extra thrill in this extra-special erotic region...and it'll add to your thrills, over and above the excitement you get seeing her bottom at such close quarters as you make love! Of course men love to thrust in their partner's vagina. But great sex involves more than this! Both the man and the woman can thrust during sex - though of course the movements you can make depend on which sexual position you are enjoying at the time. Some sex positions offer more opportunity for the man to move than the woman. The man on top or missionary position is an obvious example of how some positions restrict the woman's ability to move during lovemaking: her ability to make pelvic thrusts is limited when the man is lying on top of her, especially when he is in close contact with her body. How can you, as a man, make sex better for both partners? Well, you can adopt a different style of thrusting or moving in your partner's vagina. First of all, rather than just moving back and forwards from your hips in a classic pelvic thrust, why not try a different kind of movement? You can do this in more or less any sex position: try a gentle exploration of your partner's vagina by probing with your penis in all directions. Imagine you were using your penis like a finger, to explore all the surfaces of your partner's sensitive vaginal lining - her G spot, A spot, and even outside her vagina in the sensitive cleft from her vagina to her clitoris - she'll probably find this extremely arousing. Gently probing like this with your penis can stimulate her cervix - some women find this extremely exciting, others find it less comfortable. In general, sex positions which allow deeper penetration such as rear entry or man on top with the woman's legs raised might allow your penis to contact your partner's cervix, so these are positions in which sexual thrusting needs to proceed more gently than usual until you know how your partner feels about being penetrated so deeply. Another exciting way of moving is to alternate deep thrusts and shallow thrusts. There's lots of information on this website about possible combinations of deep and shallow thrusts, but no matter what sex position you are using, a good way of making love is to use a pattern of several deep thrusts followed by one shallow one, or vice versa. Teasing her during lovemaking by gently thrusting with shallow thrusts so that you find the position of her G spot can excite her more than a regular pattern of deep thrusts. There's nothing to stop you holding your penis in one hand and manipulating it, or moving it in a certain way once you are inside your partner. If you hold the bottom half of your shaft in your fist, you can then use your hand to move your erection in a circular pattern once you have entered her to the depth of your fist. Alternatively, you can do this by moving your hips in a circular pattern, regardless of the sexual position which you are enjoying. Or you could try moving your penis up and down rather than back and forth, which will put pressure on the top and bottom surfaces of her vagina. Try rocking your hips up and down when using the woman on top sex position, or lean alternately forwards and backwards in the man on top position. And, if you're prone to quick ejaculation, one great way to prolong intercourse is to enjoy deep penetration, no matter what sexual position you happen to be using, and instead of thrusting in and out, to simply maintain deep penetration as you "grind" your pelvic bone against hers - this may stimulate her clitoris and help her to reach orgasm during intercourse. Women: even though we'd like to believe this is a time of sexual equality, there are still plenty of men around who think it's their job to lead during sex, and to "give" the woman an orgasm....which, come to think of it, might not be such a bad division of labor! More seriously, of course, if you feel like asserting yourself sexually, you need to be aware that some men find an assertive woman in bed something of a threat - while others love it, and adore the chance to lie back and relax while you adopt the "superior female" position in more ways than the obvious one (see woman on top for more about that!). Even so, it's worth trying some variations of old favorites. Consider the missionary position, for a moment: you might want to try lifting your legs and putting them on his shoulders. This permits deeper penetration. You could also lift up your bum and put your head down when you enjoy rear entry sex: both of these maneuvers show you're willing and active, and ready for a great time, without appearing threateningly assertive. (Of course, you might want to find a man who's secure enough in his own masculinity not to feel threatened by an assertive woman. But it's odd how we all seem to revert to the time-honored sex roles in the bedroom. Maybe there's something deeply comforting about them, something that gives us a sense of sexual safety. Who knows?) We think deep penetration and vigorous thrusting can be great fun for both him and her, and one of the best ways to enjoy them is to vary the missionary or man on top. This also gives you a chance to move your pelvis with enthusiasm, which can add dramatically to the pleasure for both partners. Here's how you do it: the woman is lying on the bed, on her back, with her body and bum on the bed. Her legs are draped over the edge. He penetrates her, supporting himself on his hands as she brings her knees back towards her chest, using his legs to power his thrusts. Erotic, powerful and sexy (he has a great view of your vulva!) this can lead to deep, deep penetration and a thrilling climax. If you want even deeper penetration, bring your lower legs even further back and see if you can rest your calves on his shoulders as he thrusts. When you're enjoying sex in the woman on top position, take hold of the bottom section of your partner's penile shaft and move his penis in various ways: for example, tap the glans against your clitoris, or circle the head of the penis just inside the entrance to your vagina. Or when enjoying the woman on top positions, ride up and down his penile shaft while playing with your clitoris, timing your movements so that you ride your partner's shaft as you get extra stimulation on your clit. Another idea: alternate long and short thrusts or strokes up and down your partner's penis; or pull back so that his penis is completely out of your vagina and then just go down on him enough to stimulate the first sensitive outer parts of your vagina. Another exciting variation in the woman on top position is to alter the angle of your body so that you lean forwards or backwards more - this will alter the sensations you get from his penis pressing on the inside of your vagina. In the rear-entry sex position, you can take control by having your man remain still while you slide back and forth along the length of his shaft - and you can play around with long and short "thrusts" or you can rotate your hips - all of these will give you a different sensation. Men and women: if you want to avoid those
awkward moments, those bedroom mishaps which can happen all too easily when
you're experimenting with a new positions for sex, make sure you try something
that's within your level of experience, and in particular choose a position
that's suitable for how well you know each other (which ought to have something
to do with how long you've been together). For instance, delightful though woman
on top variations of lovemaking can be, this position can cause a woman some
anxiety about how her body appears - and so can rear entry (as in "Is my butt
fat?"). So maybe the missionary is safest after all..... at least in the early
stages of a new romance? When the woman has a strong PC muscle, she can squeeze her man on each stroke. He'll feel her vagina tighten around him as he thrusts, and this will add enormously to his sexual pleasure! |
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