Sexual Positions & Techniques
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Best Sex Positions For Well Endowed Men
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Best positions for men with a large penis
In fact, some might say that the only advantage is that you can impress other men in the locker room; for although a few woman may be "size queens", the majority, despite bawdy talk among girlfriends, are anything but.
A long penis is actually less desirable than an average one for the majority of women: anything over seven inches long is just too long for sex, and can be uncomfortable.
Bear in mind that the average vagina is about five inches long, though it does get longer when a woman is sexually aroused - but it certainly doesn't stretch to eight inches or more (which seems to be the length of penis that many men think of as "ideal"!)
Most women can only accommodate such a large penis is if they are highly aroused.
This is because when a woman is very aroused, her uterus tilts back and her vagina effectively elongates underneath her cervix (as pictured when she's lying on her back, that is).
But the problem, of course, is that most women simply don't get extremely sexually aroused during sex: certainly not to the same extent as men.
And so for most women, most of the time, the maximum length of penis they can comfortably accommodate in their vagina is about six inches - maybe seven at a pinch.
And guess what? Just under six inches happens to be the average penis size among white men. (Asian men and women are both smaller in the genital department, so they too fit well together. Obviously you potentially have a problem when you have a Caucasian man and an Asian woman making love.)
So, men who are six inches or less, take heart! You're the right length for 90% of women. And if you meet one who likes more meat on her man, well, satisfy her with oral sex until she can't do without you!
However, we digress. We were thinking about the ideal sex position for men who are well-endowed.
The object is to give him feeling but to keep her safe from having her cervix bumped as he thrusts with his long cock. So any position that gives him the impression that he is deep inside her, while in fact his penetration is actually quite shallow, is going to work well.
Then he can insert his penis between her thighs and into her vagina: the angle of attack means he can't get his whole length into her, but the effect is that the shaft of his cock is held loosely between her thighs.
This means that he gets good sensation as he thrusts - and this can be improved if he uses a lot of lube on her thighs, so that the sensations he gets in the lower part of his cock are very similar to those the upper part of his shaft feels when it's inside her vagina.
She can play with her clitoris, which may mean that she can reach orgasm - which will be an added pleasure for them both!
Other positions which may be helpful if you're in this situation are the ones where the man cannot enter his partner deeply, or where she has some measure of control over how deeply he enters her. For example (click on any picture to expand it):
The alternative to getting into these positions, of course is to exert some control over the depth to which you thrust in normal positions such as man on top or woman on top.
This is OK, unless you get carried away by sexual desire and forget to exercise your self-control! Still, if you do, her screams as you hit her cervix may well remind you to take more care!
But what if your organ is short and thick?
The short and thick scenario is surprisingly common: many men have a cock that is short and thick rather than long when erect. And this presents a wholly different set of challenges for the man and his partner.
When asked, many women say they like the feeling of fullness, so a man whose erection is thicker than average may be a satisfying sexual partner for women who enjoy the added pleasure of feeling "full" during lovemaking.
(Of course, women find many things much more important than size during sex with a partner. You can read about this here: Male Facts.)
Here are some examples of the kind of thing we mean:
This isn't really a "positions problems", it's much more about whether or not her vagina is relaxed enough to admit your large girth.
Certainly there can be a number of problems in getting into your partner with a member like the ones illustrated above. If she's a bit nervous about penetration, the sight of such a large organ poking at her vaginal opening isn't going to be very reassuring!
She may well tighten up - completely involuntarily - when you move towards penetration, which can lead to vaginismus. This is an involuntary tightening of the muscles around the vaginal opening, and it can completely stop you gaining entry into your partner's body.
The cure is relaxation, lubrication (either natural or artificial), reassurance, and training her vagina to admit gradually increasing sizes of dildoes. Let's face it, being penetrated by one of those monsters must be a bit frightening!
She's going to have to be very relaxed, very confident, very aroused and very lubricated - all of which means that you're probably in a well-established relationship, you love (or at least respect each other), and she's happy you'll be gentle enough not to hurt her.
So a good way to start is to give her control over the speed and depth of penetration - side by side or woman on top positions are good for this.
After she's realized that she can in fact accommodate you, then she'll be much more relaxed the next time.
But a very good idea is to use lots of lube, artificial lube that is, to enhance her natural lubrication.
This will undoubtedly make penetration easier, and sex more pleasant for you both - and with something that size, there's not likely to be any issues about a lack of feeling or tightness for either of you, no matter how much lube you use!
How far should he go in? The answer is as far as he wants to without hurting her; or, put it another way, as far as she can take him and wants him to go.
A big penis will enter a small woman OK as long as he moves gently.
Simply stabbing in a big penis and thrusting it home to the hilt is stupid and painful and is not likely to be met with any gratitude.
But well lubricated, aroused and gently penetrating, she will take it a little further each time and the wonderful muscles of the vagina will relax and stretch.
The Large Penis Support Group Members' Wisdom
http://www.lpsg.org if you're interested!
Question from a 10 inch long guy: I have a girl who can only take half my length. But what would you say - is it better when tight rather than deep? I like to feel my hips banging against my girl's as I go deep into her - there's no better feeling for me. And if she can only get half of my length in, then I can't do that and, worse, I won't come. What do others do?
Answer 1 from a woman: I am pretty small - 5'2'' - and my boyf is 9.5 inches. When we started having sex I could only accept half his shaft - but a lot of that was me feeling nervous about his size. Now it all goes in, and when it does, I can feel him pushing the back wall of my vagina while we make love!
Answer 2 from a man: I'm not a tall man,
5 feet 10 inches, but boy, am I hung! I like to go out with small girls, but
imagine the problems! A lot of petite girls can't even get their hand around
my cock! As for sex, I soon realized that lots of foreplay and lots of lube
was essential. If she's tight, then yes, you have to go slow, but boy, when
she's full you just OWN her.
Answer 3 from a man: I think petite girls always have small pussies. But having said that, I think all girls can take a large diameter cock because all pussies can be very accepting of large girth. It's the length of the vagina that is related to a woman's height. My wife is 5'10" and very nearly the tallest woman I ever slept with. She is also the woman who can take more of my 10 inch shaft than anyone else I ever met. Sad to say, I have never felt my hips pounding against a woman's, yet I really wish I could do so.....but who am I kidding? As you know if you're hung like me, there's no substitute for having a massive cock!
Answer 4 from a man: If you hit her cervix it's going to hurt, since most vaginas are only about six inches. That's why it's unrealistic to believe that sex is going to be pain free for her, especially if she's ovulating. If you say the woman couldn't take it, it begins to sound like it's the woman's fault, whereas in fact this is simply the result of an anatomical mismatch which you can't do anything about.
If she hasn't got the capacity to take your length, then she can't take it, and that's pretty much it. On the other hand, girth is a different matter. I think most woman can accommodate a large penis if they are sufficiently relaxed, and the only problem you might face here is that their perineum can't stretch enough to take the penis with a huge girth during sex.
The solution, as you may already have guessed, is to use plenty of lubrication and make sure she is aroused before you try and penetrate her. Her natural lubrication will only be sufficient if she produces a copious supply, and not all women do - especially after the menopause, when breastfeeding, and sometimes on the pill.
For the guys who have a penis as thick as a beer can, the answer also lies in letting her take control - especially the first few times you have sex. She's going to be frightened, no doubt about it, if she does not have the experience of having sex with such a large penis, so she needs the reassurance of knowing that she can control the pace and depth of penetration.
She can lower herself down onto you at a speed that suits her and this will enable her to relax and be sure she can take all of you before she stretches painfully. In other words, it will stop her stretching painfully.
Second, if you lie on top of your partner and she holds her legs together, you can thrust your penis between her thighs and only have the top part of it inside her.
This feels like you have buried yourself deep in her, and provides friction all along the penile shaft, so that you have a very satisfying experience, and she is again in no danger of having you thrust right up inside her.
The other position where you can achieve something similar is the side by side position where the woman lies on her side and you enter her either from behind or facing her, but once again you need the base of your penis to be between her thighs so that you get the effect of deep penetration.
These are real issues for men with massive length or girth. Some women I have managed to get deep into, and that was very satisfying sex, others however, I have just got nowhere with.
For example, there was a small Japanese girl with whom I had sex - I could not even get the head of my penis into her vagina. If we loosened her up with cunnilingus and fingering for about an hour, I could shaft her from behind in the rear entry position, but if we then flipped over and tried for man on top again, I could still only get half of the length of my cock inside her vagina.
Of course all of this was very unsatisfying, and I came to realize that sex can be incredibly frustrating at times for men like us - even when the woman is having fun. I have always wanted to feel that I can pull the woman around her waist back down onto my cock, bury it deep in hr and grind her clit on my pubic area - fat chance.
The really odd things is that once I met a small white girl who was around five feet two who could take all of my length - so maybe Asian girls really do have smaller vaginas.
More on the dilemma of the large penis
Adapted from reddit - Where a discussion ensues when a woman asks the question shown in the first post below. You can more or less work out the succession of posts that follows: there is some decent advice among them.
Original Question: I've tried researching this a bit on the internet but mostly just got male enhancement ads. I almost don't want to have sex with my man because I'm afraid he's going to hurt me, and I wonder if there is really some physical harm he can do to me? Is that even possible?
I also tried looking up positions that are better for large penises but they definitely didn't look like they would be comfortable, so I'd rather hear about this from someone who has actually tried it. Also, how can I give him better oral?
(Lots of questions of whether its girth or
length, it's actually both. Also, for those of you who think "Oh well a baby
can come out of there then a penis can surely go in!" sorry, but I think
you're kind of an idiot.)
Adam Carolla (formerly of love line) had the above invention back 7ish years ago. From the carollaboards - Love Grommet: This was a device that Adam came up back in the Loveline years for the "larger" gentlemen. Basically a complaint was that some women felt their man was "too big", so Adam suggested the Love Grommet.
This'd be close, in size and shape, to an actual donut and made out of foam. It would slide on the dude similar to a batting donut that baseball players use in the on-deck circle. It would be placed at a "depth" that was comfortable for the woman.
This sounds like a good suggestion, unless he just has a fat FAT dick.
Any time I have used it, the guy takes it as a big compliment. You don't need to wrap it tightly around the base, so it should be perfectly comfortable.
As a male with this... affliction... I have found that if my girl lays on her stomach, and I straddle her, her ass usually provides enough of a spacer that I don't bottom out. However, if you happen to have a flat ass, this may cause him to hit your bladder, which in turn may cause you to wet the bed (had this happen).
Another position is if you curl lay on your side with your knees kind of up near your chest and he kneels behind you, he should be able to control depth pretty well.
As for oral, use your hands and
be enthusiastic, the best blowjob I've had was from a girl who's mouth was too
narrow to deep throat me without some sort of dental work, but she was amazing
I wasn't thrilled, nor was she, especially since it was her bed, I went home and slept in my dry bed. But, I did so without having has an ejaculation.
Are you sure you didn't just make her squirt? Big penises hit a lot of hot spots all at once and if you two were fucking and you pulled out just right you may have tipped her off.
Positive, happened way before she could orgasm.
Apparently some girls get so wet that they just wet the bed.
This one girl I was with told me she has NEVER cum from sex without helping herself out (and it was tough for her like that too). She left a large wet spot on my bed after we had sex once and I was like "huh? did you cum?" she was like "no" and I was like "...wait you got so wet that you left a large wet spot on my sheets?" she was like "uh... yeah. blush."
I've had that happen before, usually even girls that normally have to have lube don't need it with me for some strange reason. However, I do not believe it to be urine, since a sexually experienced woman in her mid-30's is likely to be able to tell the difference between squirting and pissing.
Actually another I've been with left a large wet spot too (larger than the girl I was talking about) and I smelled it and it had a very light urine scent. She insisted it wasn't her though, and said it was me, which was a really strange thing to claim considering I had a condom on.
At first I just had assumed she had squirted but after the other girl told me sometimes she just gets SO wet she "leaks" that much... I'm not sure anymore!
If she was hot enough she may have been close enough and you can set her off. Orgasms can happen whenever given that for women the biggest sexual organ is our brains. Squirting does happen before orgasm.
Without a doubt, however, as I said above, this
was not someone new to their body, if she says she pissed the bed, she pissed
1 Take things slow, have him use fingers, dildos (we use various sizes up to his size), make sure that you are aroused ( aka wet). He shouldn't start just banging away at any of your holes until you are used to his dick.
2 For oral you can wrap your hand around the base of his penis to take some of the length off it. move your wet hand around a bit in conjunction to your mouth. don't let him fuck your mouth, have your mouth fuck his penis.
3 If you want to go for anal then i highly suggest that you use the dildo technique in #1. If you don't want to buy a separate set of dildos just for anal then put on condoms before dildo goes into your butt.
4 Try various positions with your legs closed. Your thighs can eat up some of his length. I should say that if it hurts then you need to have you and your bf take it slower. Sex should not be painful, and it might lead to long-term damage (at least in the anal region).
There are multiple sex educational books being sold. I own the Women's Guide to Anal Sex and Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex.
The second one is geared for gay men giving head but many women can use the same advice (a mouth is a mouth and a penis is a penis after all). For the best sexual positions you can see this informative site here.
Well, are we talking about really long, or really thick? If he's extremely long, then he might hit your cervix. This can be painful, but it's also preventable if he is just careful with his strokes. Thick is a bit more of an issue, but with a little careful preparation you should be fine.
Keep in mind, you vaginal canal is designed to have a tiny skull pushed through it. You can handle his penis, I promise. The worst you're looking at is a little bit of tearing and/or soreness. You're extremely unlikely to do any permanent damage.
But if you use lube, and go slowly, even this shouldn't be a problem. Honestly, you're likely making a bigger deal out of this issue than need be, and psyching yourself out. You can try taking him, and if it is a horrible experience, you can stop. If there's absolutely no pain, then you don't have to worry that you're doing some secret damage that you don't know about.
That's a sensitive region, and if something is going wrong, your body will tell you. For positions - Try with him laying down and you on top, so you can control how far he goes into you. For oral - ...can't help. Try to practice deep throating? I really don't know what to tell you there.
I've tried the me on top thing but I think my muscles are too tense when I'm like that, it's really only comfortable in missionary but how boring is that? How do you practice deep throating?
How do you practice deep throating? By putting phallic objects down your throat I would assume. No better practice tool than a phallus. Besides, I'm sure he'd have no objection to you "practicing" on him.
Well, he might - if he's not into gagging/vomit on his penis. I've had a someone vomit on my penis. It was unpleasant. Starting to laugh may not have helped the situation - but I suspect the laughter was really more of a defense mechanism.
P.S. I'm a fairly average size, not sure how a painfully large penis would affect it. Tracheal/esophageal bruising can be unfortunate. If he gets fair enough, down - he might even be able to damage the vocal cords.
How does doggie style feel? My SO is on the
larger side (any bigger and it would be a problem) and doggie style is always
comfortable. With other positions (including missionary), he sometimes hits my
My cervix gets abused no matter the position. Worst with doggie style, actually. It takes a higher-than-normal amount of foreplay to relax me enough so that it doesn't hurt.
For oral practice: take a banana, try and swallow the whole thing.
I'm really against the idea of shoving objects into your mouth to practice. For me it just makes things worse. You gag and it's not fun. What is fun is slowly taking a man's cock into your mouth as far as you can go without gagging and then hold it there for a few seconds. Then come up and try it again but going further. I find the more you want to pleasure him and the more you see his excitement for you practicing, the better you'll get and the more you can take in. Don't rush this. You can always alternate this with just sucking going up and down on the head of the penis which gives more motion in between the slow and sensual.
It's possible to give a great blow job without even putting the tip in your mouth. Just right pattern of movement of the tongue and lips up and down the right areas of the shaft. I taught an ex how to do it years ago, however she had an issue with motion sickness, and that would sometimes trigger it.
Biologically speaking doggy style allows the vagina and womb to fully extend.
Is it an issue of girth?
I had this problem with my ex and to be honest it was pretty sucky. How long have you been together?
Because we chose to battle through how sexually incompatible we were at first and it took a good few months before we could have enjoyable sex.
Also in 2 years of being sexually active with her, I never climaxed while inside her. She would climax once herself and then become too sore to continue. With the girl I'm currently seeing, it's a completely different story.
We could just tell straight away we were perfectly sexually compatible, as we're both marathon people and, I guess she just has a slightly larger opening? As much as this might be painful to hear, being sexually compatible in a relationship is often one of the most important things.
I think you need to decide how important sex is in your relationship, and whether it is worth battling through the time it takes before you can take him without it hurting a bit at first.
This is actually the best reply I've received, I am having the exact same situation as your first partner you had. I can orgasm really easily because of his size, but we've been together almost 2 years and only recently has he been able to penetrate me completely. And then I get sore really fast and have to stop, he hardly ever orgasms and it makes me feel awful! I think you're right that we need to asses how important this is to our relationship. It's terrible, but if we can't resolve it I can see it as being something we could break up over.
Well I'm glad my comment helped, and I'm sorry that it's bad news. On the plus side, the fact that he's still with you even with the troubles in the bedroom show that he's a reasonable bloke.
My ex and I
struggled because not only was she failing at making me climax but she also lost
nearly all of her libido when she was done. Hopefully if you can bring yourself
to use other methods to bring him to climax after you have finished, then he
will still go to bed a satisfied man.
Find a more suitable guy? Would it be horrible if I was thinking this too? I kind of crave having just normal sex with a normal penis...
I think you should get over the fear (you need to relax to accommodate him) and try him on for size. You may find you are one of the ladies with a deeper tunnel that's suitable for his bigger train. Some girls are bigger than others, after all...
If you think leaving someone because of something physical that they have no control over is horrible, then yes.
Happens all the time. Face it, physical attraction and compatibility in the sack is a big part of a male-female intimate relationship, and if she's not into it, she should move on. I've seen people "push it" when shit wasn't working in bed. It's rarely pretty.
I agree. I'm facing it. The only problem I
have is when people rationalize it in such a way that it eliminates any
responsibility they have for the other person's feelings like so: "I broke up
with my girlfriend because one tit was bigger than the other. Face it. Physical
attraction is a big part of a male-female intimate relationship. I'm not into
her tits, so I should move on. I'm doing her a favor by not pushing the
relationship. I'm sure she'll understand when I explain to her that her tits
turn me off. If she doesn't understand then that's her own fault."
The point I was making is this: Don't try and convince yourself you're doing them a favor. Yes, it's a bit horrible to judge and reject someone about something like their dick size which you can't help. BUT, that doesn't mean you shouldn't end it if it's going to make you unhappy. Just face the fact it's not a nice thing.
I dunno. I wouldn't want to be with someone that was physically turned off by my body. But then, I think I'd figure that out right fast and move on.
If you want to be in a sexual relationship, then
you want to be in one with someone that is 100% thrilled to be having sex with
you, including your body. Don't try and convince yourself you're doing them a
Physical compatibility? You mean like looks?
Kinda, but usually looks are known before you invest emotionally into a relationship... not like a gigantic penis.
This isn't all bad. It's a legitimate desire. You can both discuss it. Perhaps he would wear a strap-on sometimes. Perhaps you could discuss opening your boundaries to sex with others, threesomes, or swinging.
Your vagina is made to punch a baby out of it. You're not gonna break it.
It is made to do that after 40 weeks worth of hormonal preparation, and doesn't occur without significant tearing, stretching, and spilled blood.
They don't always tear or bleed. I know this from personal experience.
It's long penises that many women can never get used to. Most women find it uncomfortable to have their uterus probed. I had a girlfriend with a slightly prolapsed uterus, and she could only do it in one position without it being too uncomfortable. but even in that position, she had a bit of a dull pain after a prolonged session of taking it to the hilt.
Use time and lubricants for intercourse. It makes everything go down better!
Here are my suggestions.
1.The more in the mood you are, the better your body will be suited and ready to
take him in. Maximize foreplay and things should be able to go a little easier.
Thanks this is definitely helpful! now I just have to convince him to slow things down ;) And I know how hard it is to get him to slow down especially when things are heated ;)
To all those saying the equivalent of, "you can push a baby out of your vag, what's the problem?", bear in mind that during pregnancy a woman's pelvic bones and muscles, ligaments, etc literally are loosened in prep for the birth. An extremely large penis can indeed be a problem. But the good news for the original poster is that with lube, patience and persistence, eventually her vagina will stretch a bit to accommodate her partner. (Over the course of several weeks/months.)
I see what you are saying, but I don't think any penis is comparable to a baby.
I'm a bisexual guy; there was an absolutely massive east German guy I had sex with (he had the biggest erect penis I've ever seen.)
For oral, it helped me to lie on the bed with my head hanging down off the side and he entered my mouth that way.
My throat was able to open up more naturally than I could normally; it takes some getting used to though.
My concern in that position (and any others with my mouth full) is communicating that he needs to pull out NOW! It helped to have a hand signal (a double slap or something) since we couldn't count on a safety word to work in oral, and you don't want to use biting unless it's life or death.
For vaginal sex, striking the pubic bone is going to be very painful, but I don't think stretching is an issue. Babies can get out, and I don't know of any man who even approaches the dimensions of a baby.
Long term affects of anal (e.g. years with a huge guy) can stretch the sphincter, but most guys I've been with (excluding the east German) are smaller in girth than my bowel movements (gross, but a good mental measure of what's okay).
Has he had sex with other partners before? Surely he must know his size is an issue. Perhaps ask if he has favorite positions when another partner has had difficulty.
Anal sex? Seriously, that is your suggestion? I'm sorry, but some of the people in this thread are really out of touch with how a normal persons body is. Believe it or not... most girl's asses are even tighter than their vaginas. Of the girls I know who do like anal, they will not do it with guys with large dicks, and in fact one of the biggest complaints I've heard from guys with big dicks is that girls refuse to even attempt anal. I don't know what bizarre world you live in where fitting a giant dick into your ass is easier than in the vagina. In a word: Fail.
The pain is there for a reason... popping
something to reduce the sensitivity of the nerves is NOT recommended. This will
allow the dude to get far more physical than he would otherwise, increasing the
chances of female damage.
A vagina is meant to stretch and accommodate things such as his dick or a baby during delivery. You anus is not meant to accommodate these things.
If she is worried about injury I would steer her away from anal. I also agree with another reply to your post that the position suggested allows the man deep penetration, maybe not another good idea.
I don't know if this post is for real or not, but I'll answer anyway because there's bound to be somebody else in the same uncomfortable situation. Having sex in the spoons position is good, i.e. he's behind you and thrusting into you sideways while you're both laying on your sides.
I don't even know what they call it but cowgirl when you've got your weight on your feet instead of your knees is also good, i.e. squatting over him. As for deep throating, you can practice by using the toothbrush technique which will desensitize your gag reflex.
Humming, changing the position you're in (and resulting angle of his penis going into your throat) or sticking your tongue out also help. If you still can't get there, remember that using your tongue and hands is just as important during oral as putting him in your mouth. Perfect your hand job skills while sucking on as much of him as you can take and he won't even notice that he's not in your throat all the way.
As previously asked, is it length or girth? Length is pretty easy to deal with - there are a lot of positions out there that limit the depth he can go to. As for girth, I'd suggest you try first - you'd be surprised what will actually fit there - but make sure you're extremely aroused at the time (helps the muscles relax) and use plenty of lube.
uncomfortable, you can get dilators (see a gyno or similar) to help teach your
muscles to relax - keep in mind, this will take some time. Also, if you're about
to have sex and thinking "Oh god, what if it does fit, what if it hurts?" then
you'll be too tense, and it probably will. So talk to him about it, make sure he
knows that the first time, you're just going to try and see if you can.
I was at a passion party the other day, and the issue of a guy being too long came up. My hostess offered the suggestion of this, which you can use as kind of a buffer. It's super flexible and whatnot. I'm sure anything kind of like that would help the situation some. And do be careful about sex if he's going kind of hard. You don't want to damage your cervix, which is possible and unpleasant. For oral: don't put the whole thing in your mouth. Use your hands and slobber a lot.
Try this variation of doggy: start on all fours, once he's inside you lie down flat on your stomach. Sounds problematic, is actually quite fantastic. Cozy :)
My bf is also "well endowed" and at first I was worried whether it would prevent us from even having sex at all. But we did, although I had never fit anything that big in my vagina before. The first year, the sex was always a little uncomfortable, there was a lot of going slow at first to get it in, and I required down time in between sex to recover. But by the second year, it got easier and now we have an awesome sex life.
Length is a lot easier to deal with than girth. You can just add silicone rings to the end to make it "shorter." Or you can use a shallow penetration position. Like this one (that I really enjoy.)
Or spooning Both of these positions use your ass to cushion the thrusting making for a shallower penetration. Googleing "shallow penetration position" might yield more helpful results (although most of them are about sex during pregnancy). Girth, that one is tougher.
Try orgasming before intercourse. This will increase endorphins (making you more resistant to discomfort) and relax you as much as possible making more room for his excessive girth.
Oral, just focus on the head. Use your well lubed hand for the shaft and balls.
I've seen a lot of comments about taking care of the length but not the girth.
For girth, I've found that my significant other makes me open up a bit more by using his mouth or fingers on me first before slowly easing it in. It definitely helps if he's willing to make you come first before entering you, or even if you're willing to just finger yourself while you give him oral. With time, it gets a lot better--your body does get used to the girth even if it takes a few times of being sore afterward.
As a man who is also large, all I can say is this: this man had better learn to love to eat chicks out. If he gives you oral first, it will loosen things up quite a bit and make you very wet.
And I'm talking like 30-45 minutes at the minimum of eating out. Also, he's bound to lose erection during this period meaning he can enter at a semisoft state and get hard inside.
Very simple for length. Clue him in to the fact that he doesn't have to jam the whole fucking thing up there. As for you, you will want to take the top position or one which you can control how much he gets in.
I had a girlfriend for whom I was too large. In order for me to ejaculate inside of her before she'd get sore, she'd give me oral for quite awhile, then we'd switch to doggy style where I would quickly finish.
So it's possible! Ok thank you. And I've only had sex with one other guy before him and he was much smaller, but of course even that was painful at first (I think it's painful for all girls the first time?).