Sex Techniques and Positions
The best guide to sex positions and lovemaking techniques on the Internet
the best position for you
Sex positions for men with a small penis
Obviously the problem with having a small penis is that you can't get deep penetration as easily as men who have a large penis. But is this really a problem? Well, that depends on your point of view: deep penetration is very satisfying and can produce profoundly fulfilling sensations for men; some women like it, especially if they're stimulated by having your penis touch their cervix. (Though some women find this painful, for others it's the key to a powerful orgasm.) If you do want the pleasure of plumbing her depths, then there are several positions that can help you get deeper into her.
Doggy style or rear entry
There's no danger of falling out of her in the doggy position even if you have a small penis, provided you position yourselves correctly and comfortably. This means adjusting your respective heights (e.g. you stand on something, she raises or lowers her bottom) so you have easy and smooth access to her vulva. You get the enjoyable sight of her rear end, you get deep penetration, and you can good pressure on your penis if she keeps her legs together and/or lowers her head and neck onto a pillow while keeping her bottom raised.
Woman lies face down and man enters her from behind
The woman lies face down on her belly and keeps her legs together, as you kneel, your knees outside her legs, one on each side of her, ready to enter her. For you to get into her in the first place she may have to open her legs a bit more, but once you're in she can close them, which will produce good sensations for you both. It's often helpful if she places a pillow under her pelvis, so that her hips are raised. You'll find you can then enter her more easily.
She lies on her back and raises her legs
In fact, she may raise her legs right back so that her knees are on her chest, her ankles around her ears. This opens her vulva to your gaze, and allows you to penetrate her easily and deeply.
She lies on her back and you hold her legs in a V-formation
The starting position for this is that she lies on her back and you enter her from a semi-kneeling position. Then you hold her ankles and raise them into a V formation, holding her legs up and apart. You can thrust deeply, but it does take some flexibility to do this.
Man on top with her pelvis tilted upwards with a pillow under her bottom
This is a very good one for deep penetration and thrusting by the man. However, as in all these positions, it's important to remember that even though women may be turned on by the sight of a large penis, they often don't particularly want one inside them. The secret of sexual success is to get her really aroused before you enter her, and then to snuggle close and deep, kissing her as you penetrate her as deeply as possible. This s the ultimate romantic, sexy and loving embrace.
Although many women find big penises visually stimulating, most admit that they wouldn't like to have one inside them. So don't feel insecure if your penis is below average; there are so many ways you can make up for it as a lover.
The truth about small penis size is interesting - and one that many men who find themselves in this position find hard to accept. That is, for most women, the size of a guy's penis is well down the list of things which are important to them in a relationship.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like an apologist for men who have smaller than average endowments, because I do know that many women like to look at men's bodies, and they also like to see a penis which is visually stimulating because of its size. Sure! We all have a natural curiosity like this. But maybe the point which men miss here is that this is no different to men finding large breasts attractive - and there are only a very few men for whom this would be a determining factor in whether or not they had a relationship with the woman concerned! This logic is even more true for women, whose values of a potential partner include factors such as loyalty, honesty, reliability, commitment, strength and compassion. Though women like to look at bodies, they aren't that important a factor in deciding whether or not to form a relationship.
But of course, that leaves open the question of what this means in practice if you happen to be a man with a small penis, and you lack confidence in sexual relationships because of it. For one thing, it may seem alike a major effort every time you want to go to bed with a woman - and the psychological barrier to intimacy of a small penis, blocking your moves towards sexual intimacy because you fear the eventual outcome of being naked with a woman, can seem insurmountable.
It's to be hoped that hearing the words over and over again - "It doesn't matter to a woman" - may help you to overcome your problems. But ultimately there is no choice but to leap in, as it were, to take the plunge towards sexual intimacy. You can forewarn your partner - "I have some shyness round my dick, because I've always felt it's a bit smaller than average" - which, to be truthful, may be honest but isn't likely to garner you much admiration. Or you can find a way of giving her great pleasure, so she sees you as a wonderful lover and the size of your cock pales into insignificance behind that fact. So my suggestion to you is this: become an expert at cunnilingus. Show her that your only concern is for her orgasm and for her pleasure. Give her head before you even think about penetration. You'll find that she appreciates you more for this than for any other aspect of your lovemaking skills. Oral sex, let me repeat, for many women, is much more rewarding than intercourse. Sexual intercourse may give a woman a feeling of connection and intimacy, but if you're a thoughtful man, you can give her the feeling of intimacy and connection by listening and being present with her at any time, while her sexual pleasure comes from cunnilingus. See the advice we have to offer on cunnilingus here.
Question from a reader: If you have a small penis, what are the best sex positions?
My penis is only about five inches long and I just can't find a position which makes sex good for us both. In the man on top position, I find I can't make deep thrusts. In the rear entry position I find I pop out. In the side by side position I find I can't get into her and in the woman on top position I don't feel very much!
First of all, it might be that you're thinking a bit too much about your size. Many men have a penis this size and they have great sex! So the first thing you need to do is drop any preconceptions about what your penis will allow you to do - the truth is this: with a bit of adaptability, you will be able to have sex in just as many positions as you want. It's actually things like the flexibility of your back that will restrict the number of positions you can get into. So let's take this step by step. First of all, in the man on top position, you can penetrate her quite deeply if she moves her legs back so her knees come up towards her chest. Ask her if she can clasp her legs around your back, crossing her ankles, and see if this gives you more sensation and/or control. You may not be able to thrust as deeply, but you may find that sex in this position is much more pleasurable due to the fact that her vagina is a bit tighter.
Next, there is an important factor in how big you are: if you and your partner are overweight, then there is, sadly, the question of a certain amount of fat getting in the way! You have to find a position where her vagina is exposed and your penis is able to get into her comparatively easily. You can research this by looking up "sex positions for large people" on Google. Certainly you will find that spooning positions are impossible if you are very overweight.
Third, be very careful if you have a small penis when she is on top. If she is riding up and down your shaft, then if your cock is a bit short you may find that she can accidentally ride up too far and you will pop out of her - the danger being that if she comes down too quickly, and at the wrong angle, then she may break your penis. So a certain amount of care is required.
There shouldn't be any problem in the man on top position, though. If she can get her legs up onto your shoulders, then you should be able to penetrate her without much difficulty, and you should be able to get deeply into her. If you're trying sex in the conventional man on top position with you both lying down, try putting a pillow under her hips to raise them a bit, so you can get more easily into her.
Sex advice for men with a small penis
First of all, fewer than than half of all women are able to have what we call vaginal orgasms. Of course some women can't reach orgasm at all, but the reality is that the vast majority of women can only reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation.
This means they can only come from stimulation of their clitoris
with fingers, toys, tongue or some other part of the body (such as the penis
being rubbed on the clitoris). Obviously oral sex is especially good for
making a woman come through stimulation of her clitoris. So, "small" men, here
is a reality check: most women do not reach orgasm during penetrative sex.
Thus, for more than 50% of women, their orgasmic ability has got nothing
whatsoever to do with the size of their lover's penis. (As a side note, there
is one sex position, the coital alignment technique,
that may in fact produce an orgasm for a woman who is clitorally orgasmic
since it positions the lovers so that her clit rubs on the man's pubic bone).
The cervical orgasm takes place in a blind ending up behind the cervix. When a woman is sexually aroused, her uterus lifts up and tilts, so that the end of her vagina is underneath it in a form of cul-de-sac, while the penis of her lover (if it is long enough) actually passes under her cervix. In some women this cul-de-sac can be stimulated with a five-inch penis; in others, simply due to them having a longer vagina, it may take a longer penis to reach the same spot.
Because this blind ending is up behind the cervix, it follows that
the cervix is rubbed when the man thrusts during intercourse - but only if his
penis is long enough. The problem is that many women find cervical bumping and
rubbing rather unpleasant, if not painful, for it is usually only exciting if
a woman is extremely aroused. In any event, women who do not like their cervix
stimulated during sex will undoubtedly prefer men with a shorter penis. That
is just one reason why finding the right sexual position for you and your partner is so important.
One drawback to stimulating the G spot is that sometimes it can make a woman feel like she needs to pee during sex, though the sensation usually goes off after a while. This can be avoided by visiting the bathroom before sex.
One great thing is that
G-spot stimulation can cause the extremely exciting experience of female
ejaculation, a liquid sometimes squirted by a woman out of her urethral glands
during sex. Here's a page about female ejaculation and the G-spot:
Kegel exercises may help in the first place, but in truth a woman needs a resistance-device called a Kegelmaster to get really good PC muscle tone. The more strength in her PC muscles, the stronger a woman's vaginal orgasms - and obviously the tighter her vagina feels to her lover during sex.
Furthermore, powerful vaginal muscles help increase the
power of the woman's orgasm, and make it more satisfying. I have heard it
said, though I have never seen it, that women with very strong PC muscles can
actually induce a vaginal orgasm by flexing the muscles of their vagina even
if there is nothing inside it. An amusing site which purports to show
the best sex positions for you can be found here.
The reality is that women generally need at least ten to twenty minutes of direct and careful clitoral stimulation before they reach a (clitoral) orgasm. In porn the orgasms are faked! Yes, they are faked. Shocking, isn't it?
Almost no woman reach orgasm as quickly and as powerfully as appears to happen in porno films. The very few women who can reach orgasm in this way are often very skilled at sex because they have spent a lifetime developing those skills - in other words, their capacity to orgasm has nothing to do with the size of their partner's penis.
For example, women
who can reach a vaginal orgasm in moments have very powerful PC muscles. The
problem is that men look at porn and think it somehow represents normality -
the stud's large penis producing (apparently) massive orgasms. But if you see
this and conclude that your cock is not big enough to give a woman an orgasm,
you are truly falling into a web of self-deception and falsehood.
Also most men's sex shops send the wrong image to men. Often if a man buys a sex toy for his partner he goes for the enormous, penis-like dildo. But a woman buying for herself will buy a dildo about six inches or less in length and only about an inch and a bit in diameter. The Rabbit Pearl which is one of the most popular sex toys when women do the buying, is only five inches long in the shaft.
So the message is - be a careful, sensitive lover and a strong, romantic, considerate man, and the issue of penis size fades into insignificance. And, as always, if you happen to be a man who comes quickly, exercises to help you last longer in bed will always prove a hit with your lover, especially if you take her to a massive orgasm during lovemaking!