Your guide to
sexual positions and lovemaking techniques!
Woman on top
Sexual positions: rear entry or doggy style
So men, what you think of when you hear the words "rear entry sex"? One thing's for sure: like most men, you'll certainly have spent a lot of time thinking and fantasizing about it!
Do you think of the site of your partner's buttocks parted, with your glistening penis sliding in and out between her cheeks, her vagina opening and closing around you as you thrust?
Do you think of bending double around her, your hands cupped around her breasts as you thrust deep into her, consumed with your animal passion? Do you think of the sheer power of your male sexuality as you push your erection as deep into her as it will go?
And there, maybe, is the problem some women have with rear entry sex! They feel objectified; they don't feel like a man's making love to them: they feel like they're being used for sexual gratification.
But hey! Is that a problem? We are, at our genetic roots, sexual beings, with all the lustfulness and urgency of animals that need to reproduce. That's what mother nature has programmed us for, and that genetic imperative comes out more clearly during sex in the rear entry position than in any other.
This is the sexual position which turns us on, accesses our most primal sexual drives, and can make us lose control – at least, if we let it, for in human sexuality there is always an element of choice.
But what's the other side of the coin? How do women feel about rear entry sex? It seems to depend how sexually uninhibited they are, which in sexual terms probably means how aroused they are. For all of us find things acceptable when we're sexually aroused that we would find less acceptable, or not acceptable at all, when we're not so aroused.
So a woman has to be in her sexual power, feeling uninhibited, and perhaps wanting to indulge her raw, lustful sexual urges, before she can enjoy rear entry sexual positions.....unless she's just doing that feminine thing, the one so many women do (for which we men should be truly grateful!), which is pleasing their man by offering him sex in the position which she knows turns him on more than any other.
Nonetheless, this sex position does have a lot to offer a woman as well. For one thing, she has a lot of sexual power. Whether or not she sees herself as being objectified, the reality is that she has the power to thrust vigorously, she can experience powerful G spot stimulation, she can receive stimulation to her clitoris either by her own hand or from her partner, and she can allow herself to surrender to the power of her female sexuality – which some would argue is more powerful than male sexuality when it's really aroused.
A lot of women have told us that they enjoy a feeling of lewdness, of raw sexuality, of liberated sexual urges, in this sex position, and that's a fantastic thing to hear, because being able to access your deepest instinctual drives as a human being, and express them safely, is an extremely fulfilling and rewarding experience.
So what do we need to think about with this sexual position, other than the sheer raw lustful power it has over most men and many women?
Well, importantly, it isn't a sexual position where the woman just kneels on the floor or the bed and remains stationary whilst the man fucks her. She has the power and freedom to thrust her hips backwards and forwards in time with her man's movements, meeting him thrust for thrust. Alternatively, as an interesting variation in this position, he can remain stationary while she thrust backwards and forwards on his erect shaft. Of course, she can remain still whilst he has the pleasure of pounding into her - which, frankly, is what usually happens when a man allows his sexual instincts free rein in this sex position.
There are some massive advantages to rear entry sex as well: the man has so much freedom of movement, and he can make such a wide variety of thrusts, that from moment to moment a couple's lovemaking can constantly change. He can make deep thrusts or shallow thrusts; he can hug his partner close and thrust from his hips, or he can stand back and move his whole pelvis - either approach feels powerful and profoundly rewarding.
She can kneel with her head up or her head down, or even lie down on the bed whilst he thrusts into her as he stands at the edge of the bed; each of these variations offers the opportunity for a couple to explore the angle at which his cock can push hard against her G spot, and so potentially bring her to a big orgasm if she's sufficiently aroused before intercourse starts.
For the man it's an incredibly powerful turn on to see his cock sliding in and out of his partner's body, to see it more clearly than in any other sexual position, in fact; it's such an empowering, confidence making, sexual self-esteem building thing for a man to have sex with his partner in this way!
But I don't want to give the impression that this exposition is all about gratification for the man (though I fear there may be some truth in that!).
As we've already said, women can find
this position incredibly rewarding because it gives them access to
their sexual power, it allows them to behave
like a slut in a safe way with a trusted partner ("slut's" not a
judgment, by the way - the slut is a powerful sexually aware
female archetype in any woman's psyche. If you'd like to learn
more about female archetypes, and male archetypes, and how you can
use them to seduce women, one of the best places I've come across
with information on the subject is Joshua Pellicer's interesting
program The Tao of Badass, which is a comprehensive guide to all
things related to dating, mating, seduction and relationships.
Find out more here
about the subtleties of male and female relationships.
There aren't many disadvantages to this sexual position!
One of them, however, is that it doesn't promote intimacy, or at least it doesn't necessarily promote intimacy.
it's a raw, powerful, physical experience that can give you great thrills, great sexual excitement, and massive orgasms. If you want to increase its power, place a mirror alongside your bed so you can see yourself as you give way to the sexual instincts that come into play as you make love in this way.
Another disadvantage is summed up in the alternative name of the sex position – doggy style. It's animalistic, and women can feel used and objectified; the way to deal with that is to ensure that you precede rear entry, or doggy style, sex with loving foreplay, and you connect emotionally afterwards.
It's also possible that you'll have difficulty getting into your partner if you're a man who's taller or shorter than she is; you may have to stand on something, or you may have to bend your knees a little bit to make it easy to penetrate her. But that's not difficult to get the hang of, and once you've cracked it, rear entry sex can take you to places you've never been before, both physically and emotionally.
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So here are the basics of rear entry or doggy style sex
Obviously the man is behind his partner and she's facing away from him. She may be kneeling whilst he stands, or he may be kneeling as well. You can see the basic variations of the position in the photographs below.
It's raw, it's deeply appealing to men, and it's a very lustful way of making love. It's even possible to do this, if the mood takes you, whilst you're standing up - a sexual position great for raw, quick, lustful sex!
In this position, as indeed in many of the other variations, it's possible for the man to hold the woman's hips or shoulders to guide her movements and to indicate what he wants her to do. Of course, it's also possible he might just be holding onto her to stop getting away as he ejaculates into her!
The photographs illustrate the fact that there is no shortage of variations on the basic rear entry, so once again you have ample opportunity for experimentation with this sex position.
What you prefer and find most satisfying will depend on your personal taste, and also, on how easily you can penetrate and thrust in different postures. Many people do find that lying down is a difficult position for rear entry - it's probably better for men whose penis is longer than average. With experimentation you'll find exactly the right position for you and your partner.
Don't forget the possibility of rear entry sex when you're actually sitting in a chair - it's a restful and easy position for sexual intimacy when one partner is disabled or not very flexible. And even here there is still plenty of variation to be had from the basic sex position: you can sit either facing each other or facing away from each other.
Each of these variations offers its own thrills and spills, its own sensations, pleasures and orgasmic intensity.... try them out, find the ones that suit you most, and above all, enjoy the novelty and excitement of trying different positions during your lovemaking.
So what do men and women think of rear entry sex?
Most men who fantasize sexually (all
of them?) probably think more about rear entry than anything else.
It's because rear entry is a powerful stimulant for men, but it
isn't necessarily a position that actually used that offered by
couples, especially where the woman's a bit reticent about it.
So rear entry sex is something where
men can actually give expression to their most basic male sexual
urge - which is probably why women feel a bit
Still, it's worth bearing in mind something that I found on a female forum once in a discussion of this sex position: the topic was how often do you and your boyfriend have rear entry sex? And generally the answers, perhaps to some extent reflecting the women's embarrassment, were quite comical: only when I'm really horny, or on his birthday, was the kind of general theme there!
It would be hard for any woman in a relationship with a man not to be aware of how strong the male sexual urge can be, and I think that in a lot of cases women give men the opportunity for sex in general and rear entry sex in particular because they have a fear that if they don't, men will go and get sex somewhere else..... which, actually, I suppose is quite a reasonable fear.
So it seems to me that rear entry sex is probably one aspect of how women accommodate men's sexual drive. And yet at the same time it's still exciting for women, but perhaps not quite as exciting as it is for men. I guess a lot of women can at least console themselves with the thought that even if they don't particularly like rear entry sex, at least it usually doesn't last that long because their man ejaculates so quickly.
Hints for couples to make sex better
It's a simple reality that not all positions suit all couples, for one reason or another. For example, if you and your partner are very different in height, then you need to find the best sex positions for both of you during lovemaking.
If the man is taller than the woman, sitting sex can be very helpful, because obviously the woman can sit in the man's lap facing either towards him or in the opposite direction without much difficulty, regardless of how tall they are.
In this situation, woman on top sex positions also tend to be very helpful since a woman's ability to make love to a man lying down on his back does not depend on anything other than her ability to sit or squat on top of him.
And, as you might expect, rear entry can be very successful too, provided the any difference in height can be eliminated by the couple finding a way to get her vagina and his penis at a similar height.
Pain on penetration can be caused by dyspareunia (vaginal pain) or by lack of natural lubrication. This may mean that the woman isn't sexually aroused, so plenty of foreplay is necessary before penetration is attempted.
With the right amount of foreplay a
woman will generally produce natural lubrication in sufficient
quantities to allow easy penetration. If, however,
The choice of sex position is also important when a woman's tense or frightened about penetration. Anxiety can produce tension in the vaginal muscles and make penetration difficult.
Woman on top is a good position for
women who have these particular difficulties, because they can
control the depth and the rate of penetration.
Conflict, shame, guilt or anxiety about sex also cause sexual inhibition. If a woman has actually never experienced an orgasm, a state known as anorgasmia, there are several ways you can deal with this. First of all, you can try a self-help program on the Internet designed to show women how to give a woman a sensual massage. If this doesn't work, more intense, professional therapy may be necessary, but I'm of the view that nothing is quite so good as a trusted long-term committed relationship with partner she respects, loves and trusts.
Finally, if a couple really feel that rear entry sex is depersonalizing the sexual experience or making it animalistic, a good way to overcome these inhibitions is for the woman to lie on her belly, as the man enters her from a lying position above and behind her. What I've often found is that even when a woman has strong reservations about rear entry sex, these will often disappear once she's experienced it.