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As an alternative to full intercourse, try "high riding". When the woman is lying on her back, she has her legs parted enough to allow her partner to lie between them. Instead of inserting his glans into her vagina, he puts its undersurface at the front of her vulval cleft, where the labia come together and, making movements of his pelvis, rubs it backwards and forwards in the crease. The most sensitive part of the penis (the undersurface of the glans) is now against the most sensitive part of the female genitalia, the clitoris. Lubricated, if necessary, the friction is now varied in pressure, speed, the length of the rubbing, and to an extent the direction. The glans will quickly rub its way between the lips, separating them and leaving the clitoris exposed to the action. Its own undersurface, which is also the most sensitive part of the clitoris, is the part mostly affected. This high-riding is for some people an extremely erotic sensation. Some women prefer it to actual penetration. By having her head and shoulders up on pillows and by him using his arms to lever himself clear of the woman, they can both also watch the glans as it slithers towards their faces. Both can detect the subtle movements of greatest sensation and anticipate them. Both too can watch ejaculation over the woman's mons pubis and abdomen. As the shaft of the penis is scarcely if at all compressed, the semen may well squirt powerfully and a long way up. Many couples find this to be highly arousing. The vulva is not the only place for using the penis. Some men and indeed women will enjoy rubbing their penis up between the buttocks. This is best done by placing her on her knees with her thighs far enough apart for him to kneel. He kneels very close to her, places his penis almost upright between her cheeks and rubs. She, looking back between her legs sees the testicles dangling and moving and may enjoy the sensation of them against her. He sees the action very clearly that can arise from the penis stroking over the back part of the vaginal lips, the perineum and its hair, and, in particular, over the sensitive area of her anus. Another way is to place the penis in the fold of the groin. This can be done from on top or from the side. She in particular may enjoy lying flat, face up or down, with the penis tightly trapped between the closed thighs and the vulval lips. Suitably positioned, she can also play with its glans as it emerges on each thrust. The erotic effects of high-riding, on women more especially, have to be indulged in to be appreciated. They can be colossal. There is also an advantage accruing from the fact that, proceeding to orgasm, the semen is not squirted into the vagina. As one wit put it, doing this out of doors, can mean casting your seed on stony ground. The point is that the farther away from the vulva the less is the chance of pregnancy. Pregnancy is possible without actually putting semen in the vagina, but, as perhaps the same wit might have put it, it's a pretty long shot. Anyway, don't rely on it as a contraceptive measure. A Connoisseur's Guide to Erotic OrgasmFace to face sex positions with the woman supine, that is, on her back, are the first choice of the large majority of women. Two main explanations exist. The first is that women like it because it feels right, natural and safe. At least as important, though, is that in this position the pressure on the clitoris is at its greatest. The hard ridge of bone across the abdomen above the root of the penis (called the pubic bone) presses against the area of the clitoris. It presses it against it the male pubic hair, and in and out movements alternately pull and relax the labia and with them the hood of the clitoris. It is this pressure and rubbing that is so rewarding. Also, the penis, especially of younger men, stands not only out but up. In most women it is the front (anterior) wall of the vagina that is the most sensitive. When she is laying on her back, especially with her thighs down and a pillow under her hips, the probing penis presses hardest and most pleasurably against this wall. During intercourse it is a good idea to reach down, pull the labia apart in front to expose the clitoris more completely then put the weight fully down upon it keeping the labia from coming together again. As she approaches her orgasm he can lift his feet and lower legs or even with practice, his knees and thighs. By gripping hard around her shoulders or on a convenient bed edge, he can ride her such that the lowest part of him touching anything is his pubic bone. The pressure is great and often appreciated. But try it gently until you're sure of your partner's feelings. Somebody said that you can define a gentleman as someone who always takes the weight on his elbows. By no means all women prefer this. Many a girl enjoys a man's weight on her. It's all a matter of preference. Face to face positions have other advantages. There is someone to talk to if that's what you like. There are breasts to look at and play with, though this is not always easy when lying. Vision however tends to be limited and if seeing things is important then side by side sex may be more successful. By kneeling up and spreading her legs wide he can get a better view down onto his penis as it penetrates her. His extended hands can grasp and fondle her breasts. Variations in the angle of penetration can be achieved by the size and position of a pillow under her. Under her buttocks it tilts her pelvis up, under the small of her back it tilts it down. He should never forget, whichever way he has penetrated, that he can make the penis touch different spots in the vagina by changing the angle of his hips and the angle at which he thrusts into her. He can also grasp the base of his penis in his hand and move it accordingly. Also, if kneeling up he can additionally stimulate her clitoris rather than rub it with his pubic bone. Lifting her thighs at varying degrees - right up until her ankles are beside her ears (be gentle until you know how far they'll go) - also changes the degree of pressure against different parts of the vaginal barrel. Woman on top sex positionsHaving her on top, while still lying face to face, has some additional benefits: for instance, if he is very heavy, or if for any reason deep penetration is unwelcome. Kneeling astride him as he lies on his back under her, she has the choice of timing and rhythm and also she can also control the depth to which she is penetrated. She can rub her own clitoris either with a finger or against her partner. Although most women prefer making love on their backs, there's no doubt that the second most favorite position for sex is this one. Men like it too because they can pass their hands around her buttocks and freely feel the movements of their penis. And a man can increase her stimulation by stroking her labia and her anus. An alternative to straight face to face intercourse is "flanquette." Instead of his legs being between hers, they are astride one of them. Correspondingly hers must surround one of his. Different areas of skin, in particular the inner surfaces of the thighs, come into contact with the partner's skin and the angle of entry into the vagina is different, so she feels the penis touching different spots. It is possible for her to kneel astride him as he lies on his back during sex. Her face will be towards his feet. The position of the penis in this position is to push hard up onto the back (posterior) wall of the vagina. Its movement causes the anus to be stretched and relaxed at each push. If he likes that, the view is second to none and a penetrating finger can further improve matters. Rear entry sex positionsThe other main group of intercourse positions is from the rear. The number of women preferring rear entry is far smaller than those preferring front entry: it's a position which makes her feel less of a person, more of a sex object. Somehow she feels more used than treated as an individual. She imagines that her bottom could be anyone's. Rear entry can be effected by the penis with her standing, touching her toes, kneeling, lying or astride. He should bear in mind certain essentials in each instance. Standing she will need steadying so as not to fall; in case things get carried away it's as well to have something for her to fall on anyway. Touching her toes she is even more likely to overbalance. Kneeling offers him the temptation to put his weight on her. He could do this too heavily especially if her back is a bit shaky. Rear entry with her kneeling is high on the male list of favorites. For the large proportion of men who are "bottoms" men, it presents a superb view of the buttocks, the gap between, and the anus. The view of the active penis is at its best. The depth of penetration is the greatest. In fact, he should be careful as he can easily be far enough in to press against one of her ovaries. An ovary can be as tender to pressure as a testicle. His hands are free to spread her or stroke her. He can reach around in front to play with her breasts. As her degree of sensation is likely to be reduced by the lack of clitoral involvement he should always her clit some attention. It is also valuable if he withdraws his penis and runs it up and down her crease and against her clitoris from time to time. If she looks back at this stage she can also watch ejaculation if it is not to be internal. For some women the somewhat limited physical pleasure can be improved by a psychological one. If he grasps her wrists and holds them behind her she has the feeling of being pinioned and "taken." Rear entry is also ideal for lazy intercourse when both partners are on their sides. An alternative rear entry is called "cuissade." As with frontal non-straight entry, the only difference is being astride the partner's thighs instead of being between or astride them both. Again it is the angle of the penis in the vagina and the different skin surfaces that touch that provide the thrill. Safe sex A question often asked is "When should a condom be put on?" There is only one answer: before you lose control and can't hold back. If you're not sure then sooner is better than later. The only respectable way of putting it on is openly, confidently and with style. He should kneel up and unroll it down the penile shaft while letting the penis jut towards her. If she is aroused this will turn her on even more. (If she's not he probably shouldn't be doing it anyway.) It is a much more appreciated thing if she puts it on for him. But a few words of warning. After ejaculation don't leave the sheathed penis in the vagina to go soft as the condom may slip off. (By the way, it's nothing to be frightened of if you do lose it. Two searching fingers can usually grasp it.) Other issues... How far should he go in? The answer is as far as he wants to without hurting her; or, put it another way, as far as she can take him and wants him to go. A big penis will enter a small woman OK as long as he moves gently. Simply stabbing in a big penis and thrusting it home to the hilt is stupid and painful and is not likely to be met with any gratitude. But well lubricated, aroused and gently penetrating, she will take it a little further each time and the wonderful muscles of the vagina will relax and stretch. How long should intercourse continue? Again it's choice that matters. The more you do it, the more chance of making her sore and him too. She may also get a troublesome irritation of the bladder next day. Anything up to an hour, if he can manage it, shouldn't hurt anyone. There is no harm in approaching orgasm, holding it back to let it settle, then having another crescendo. There is no harm in not having an orgasm. It might be a bit disappointing but no one suffers. Prolonging intercourse is just a matter of co-operative and alone training for both partners. Suffice it to say that if he comes too soon very often then they are sadly in need of more time, effort and practice.
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