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Men's Orgasm

You may be familiar with the concepts of Yin and Yang energy: Yang is the male force, hot, passionate, fiery; Yin is the female energy, water, slower to heat up - and slower to cool down, just like a woman's sexual energy. Mixed together, they represent a powerful force, one which can be used for many other purposes. Think of man as the fire and woman as the cauldron.

The yin energy rests in a woman's second Chakra; the fire in a man's base Chakra. When a man ejaculates, he loses this energy and needs time to recover. Taoists say that the male orgasm, is actually a separate process from ejaculation, a belief which is borne out by much current knowledge about physiology and anatomy. The important thing is that men who ejaculate when they reach orgasm are losing physical and spiritual energy. The Taoists suggest that a man keeps the physical part of his energy, his Chi, inside himself, so that although he may have an orgasm, he will still have his store of Chi energy.

Orgasm without ejaculation is known as retaining your seed. There are some exercises which can help you learn how to reach orgasm without ejaculating, but even if they are not successful for you, they may still teach you how to make sex last longer. Making sex last longer makes you a more considerate lover, makes you better able to satisfy your partner, and gives you longer lasting pleasure. You will also find that you keep an erection for longer too.

For the following exercises, you need to practice with your partner. When the real essence of Tantric sex are to be enjoyed, you need adequate practice, and it's probably better that you do this at a regular place and time rather than when the opportunity arises or when you feel passionate.

Reserve a time for sex

This isn't about feeling in the mood or being passionate - it's about learning a new way to have sex, one which will make your sex life much more enjoyable, so reserve a time with your partner and stick to it, and when you are enjoying sex at that time, Mood and passion don't really play a part in this learning process. Putting sex in your diary isn't as mechanistic a process as you might at first think - in fact you'll get used to the idea very quickly and then it will seem quite natural to have sex on a regular schedule. Obviously anything to do with sex, learning new sex skills, and practising Tantric sex should be enjoyable and fun.

The Locking Sex Position For Sexual Intercourse

Have sex as you normally do, enjoying it to the full, and let the man ejaculate as he normally would. Enjoy it, be enthusiastic, energetic and passionate! Now, you are ready to begin. Make love again: yes, that's right, have sex again. The man will not ejaculate as quickly (and you can even repeat this a third or fourth time if you wish, if the man is a quick comer and young enough to be able to get so many erections in such a short space of time!) Take up a position for sex with the man on top, and let him enjoy the thrusts of the bird or heron: in other words, he pushes his wand of light or jade hammer (that's his penis) into his partner's jade garden (her vagina) three times each quite deeply, then once rather shallow. He then repeats this cycle of four thrusts. As he withdraws, on the fourth - that is, the shallow - stroke of each cycle, if he feels he is about to come, he should draw in his lower abdomen and arch his back. This is called the locking sex position and it can assist him in not ejaculating. Having said that, the man must be bale to tell how close he is to his orgasm and must not leave his shallow stroke too late. He can continue with the thrusts of the bird for just as long as he likes, and each time he approaches his ejaculation he should stop thrusting in the locking sex position. When the feeling of almost being about to ejaculate has reduced in intensity, he can resume the heron's thrusts.

Thrusts - for the man - of the Dragon

Once you are experienced in sex with the heron's thrusts, the nest step is the dragon's thrusts. This time you enjoy nine deep thrusts and one shallow one: as before, the locking sex position can help to delay ejaculation. Once you have got to grips with this sexual technique and you can keep going for longer during sex, you can try the phoenix thrusts. This time you thrust with very shallow strokes nine times, then you enjoy one deep thrust. This technique may well help your partner to enjoy a vaginal orgasm! Remember: nine shallow followed by one deep.

By the way, if you are having trouble controlling your ejaculation, you cannot help control it by transferring your attention to something else. You need to stay present and focused on what you're doing during sex, so counting sheep or running through football scores in your mind is definitely not recommended: such techniques keep you away from your feelings, distract you from awareness of how near to ejaculation you are, and disrupt the flow of energy between you and your partner during sex.

Delaying Ejaculation

Enjoy your lovemaking as described above: practice the heron's thrusts, the dragon's thrusts and the phoenix's thrusts. As you feel yourself approaching orgasm, don't withdraw your penis from your partner's vagina, but instead press with your forefinger and thumb on you perineum, between your scrotum and your anus. This is where your base chakra is located, and by pressing on it you will stop your progress towards ejaculation. You can only discover how much pressure you need to stop yourself ejaculating by trying different pressures - use enough so that your desire to ejaculate subsides. If your erection wilts, keep going with the technique, because you will find that after a few attempts your erection is maintained quit easily. If you wish, your partner can do this for you.

If you learn this effectively, it can make sex much more rewarding for your partner as you will be able to keep up your thrusts for as long as you wish.

How long can you thrust for during sex?

Taoist sex writings suggested a man is able to make a thousand thrusts before he ejaculates. But whether this is so or not, any increase in the duration of sex is obviously going to be enjoyable for both the man and his partner. However, take it slowly: sudden changes in what you do with your body during sex are not recommended, especially if you have been accustomed to making love many times a week and you suddenly stop. Your body may need time to adjust to sex without ejaculation, and you can accommodate this perhaps by starting off with sex that does not involve ejaculation every other time you have sex.

Once you have learnt how to practice the locking sex position and the perineum pressure technique, you may be able to experience the "delightful plateau" during sex, that is to say, the non-ejaculatory orgasm. You still feel all the sensations of an orgasm but you don't ejaculate. Because you do not lose your sexual energy (as you would if you ejaculated), you can experience the delights of the plateau as many times as you wish during your lovemaking. And obviously you can move on from this plateau to higher peaks of sexual pleasure when you are ready to do so.