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[ Home ] [ Tantric sex - principles ] [ Tantric sex - the chakras ] [ Tantric sex positions ] [ On the way to Tantric sex ] [ Exchanging energy during sex ] [ Yin and Yang energy during sex ] [ The Eastern Approach To Sex ] [ The Eastern Approach To Sex ] [ Taking sex to a whole new level ] [ Types of orgasm ] [ Sex positions in the tantric tradition ]
The Balance Of Yin and Yang
The ancient sex manuals were well
aware of the difference between men and women when it came to sexual arousal.
The Kama Sutra recommends a gentle approach, not a forcible one, to seduce a
woman. In modern terms this would mean something like extending foreplay
beyond the bedroom, and making sure that a woman is safe, has reason to trust
you, and feels loved by you before sex begins. Skilfully seducing a woman -
and less so a man - depends on a gentle touch, a look, a sense of shared
intimacy, a secret agreement of things to come which is unspoken, and which
leads up to the act of lovemaking when the time and place are right.
Now of course lovemaking involves
different sexual energies - the power, the force, the quick-to-ignite sexual
energy of man, and the gentler, slower to arouse, longer lasting, and perhaps
slower burning sexual energy of the woman. But of course, and aroused woman is
a passionate force, and since the Taoist belief is that she is in connection
with the source of all generative energy in the Universe during sex, the
energy she can bring to lovemaking is no less powerful than the man's.
Taoist belief encompasses the
philosophy that men and women are made up of different proportions of Yin and
Yang energy. Women are predominantly Yin energy - men are predominantly Yang.
However, no person can be all or one of these - if you like, the sexual energy
you express always contains seeds of the other sex. We are all, in other
words, made up of varying degrees of Yin and Yang, feminine and masculine,
sexual energy. It is this presence of the components of the other person
within us that gives us a variety of personal and sexual characteristics.
According to the Taoists, your balance of Yin and Yang woudl manifest in the
following ways:
Yin qualities: lunar, soft, dark,
female, passive, receptive,
negative, inner worldly, emotional, deep, interior, retiring, nurturing,
absorbing, proactive.
Yang qualities: solar, dry, warm, light, male, active, outwardly directed, positive,
logical, intellectual, shallow, energetic, reactive, defensive, repelling, advancing,
aggressive, reactive.
Naturally, these are stereotypical qualities, and there is no man or woman
alive who shows only the male or female qualities. They are indications of the
kind of energy which we see in men and women, and in the energies they bring
to sex. The Taoists also ascribed the elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water and
Metal) to either Yin or Yang, though this is f less interest to us now than
the qualities which they described, for these are commonly observable in terms
of our sexual energies.
If you consider how you feel about
men and woman, and then look at the list of qualities ascribed to the two
sexes, you'll see some things that seem instantly familiar: for example, Yin
energy is thought of as darker, deeper, more mysterious perhaps, and certainly
more generative than Yang energy. Yang is quicker to become aroused, quicker
to fire up, less deep and more visible - with men, sexually at least, what you
see is what you get. Women of course are slower to arouse, both sexually and
emotionally, than men; they also take longer to cool down after they have
become aroused. But though women take longer to reach orgasm, they reach
levels of sexual arousal which may exceed those of a man: and because men are
quicker to arouse, quicker to reach orgasm, and much quicker to become less
aroused after sex, there needs to be some accommodation, some understanding
between the sexes on how these differences in arousal rate are to be
accommodated.
Men, for example, need to ensure
that they seduce their partners gently and slowly; they need to stroke, to
caress, to fondle, to explore their partner's body non-sexually before turning
to her sexual areas; they should take account of a woman's need for intimacy,
for love, for a sense of being cherished and valuable; they should not expect
her to be as quickly aroused as they are. Women, on the other, need to
accommodate a man's desire for rapid arousal, quick relief and almost
impersonal sex from time to time - one way they can do this is by enjoying a
session of quick sex for the man's pleasure.
There's an exercise which can help
you understand the essence of Yin and Yang. You can do this with your partner,
one person at a time.
Yang Energy
If the man goes first, the woman
will give him a Yang massage. In other words, he lies down, making sure that
he is warm and comfortable, then she will start with his erect penis, holding
it with one hand and with her other making a series of concentric circular
movements on his belly, thighs and legs which gradually extend outwards from
his penis as the centre of the circles. She ends the massage with his face,
and then brings him to orgasm using her hands, lips and mouth - after which he
can do exactly as he wishes, including going to sleep.
Yin Energy
When the man reciprocates for his
partner, she lies down and makes herself comfortable, before her partner gives her
the equivalent Yin massage. As you may imagine, this means he starts with her
face (remember women are slower to arouse, so rapid attention to the genitals
may not be the best way to light her sexual fire). He keeps this hand in
contact with her face at all times, while his other hand traces slow movements
of massage over her body in gentle spirals, with her vulva as the focal centre
of the movements. As she becomes more aroused he brings her to orgasm, and
then fulfils her wishes to be caressed, to go to sleep, or whatever else she
wants to happen.
Is the Energy Different?
It's very interesting to compare
impressions. If you can develop a true intimacy with your partner and speak
from your heart about what happened for you during the massage, you may well
discover some profound things about each other's sexual energy and how it
grows as you touch and caress. You may also discover the ways in which you
need to adjust your sexual styles so that you are truly compatible in bed and
each get full pleasure and satisfaction from being sexual with the other.
Energy Cycles
Another aspect of the Yin and the
Yang is the flow of energy. We all know that a woman's sexual energy rises and
falls as she goes through her monthly sexual cycle; but what of the man's
cycle of sexual energy? That is a question which remains open to
interpretation, but the Taoists believed than a man's cycle was less than a
day long.....perhaps this reflected their view of how to explain the fact that
men had such a high level of sexual energy so consistently.
Ching
This is the name which the Taoists
gave to the energy which was released when a man ejaculated. It's not semen,
nor is it sperm: it's the vital energy which goes along with his ejaculation.
Since orgasm and ejaculation are two separate things, the release of a man's
Ching does not necessarily have to happen when a couple engage in sexual
intercourse: in fact he may enjoy multiple orgasms without ejaculation, in
which case his Ching is preserved and his energy remains high - this will
contribute to his good health. It's different for a woman, who, according to
the Taoist philosophy, gains energy every time she reaches orgasm.
next page.
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