Sex Techniques and Positions

Tantric Sex - The Chakras

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How to be aroused and experience energy flow rather than ejaculation during sex

Whatever happens when you start to enjoy Tantric sex is the experience of the moment - by which I mean that whatever happens, you need to be in a psycho-sexual place where you can just accept it. Whatever your sexual and emotional experience may be at that time is OK: it's the experience you are meant to be having. Sometimes you will feel the spiritual pull of sex, and other times you won't - but it is important to be in the moment whatever happens. It's also important to lose your ego while you practice this sort of sex - Tantra is not about ego, not about boasting, not about attainment for attainment's sake - it's about changing sex into a more complete experience.

Kundalini Energy

Try the following exercise and see what happens, remembering of course that whatever happens is the experience of the moment, and is meant to be happening! If you feel your Kundalini energy rising, remember that the objective is to raise your energy to a place where you can experience union with the divine, or, if you prefer, with the energy of the universe. This moment of union with the energy of the cosmos (or, if you prefer, God) is an unmistakable sexual experience. (You may already have had a sense of this on those occasion when sex has seemed to be something more profound than normal - a spiritual experience.)

In the exercise that follows, you may feel sleepy or drowsy. Let that happen: just go with the flow and see where it takes you. There are no right and wrong paths here: all roads lead to the same place! As you try the exercise you may have one or more of three different types of energy flow: orgasmic energy, spiritual energy, or introspective energy rather like a meditation. Each of these will come and go in varying proportions from time to time during sex......and as always, in the Buddhist philosophy, what you get is what you need at that point. You should focus on your brow chakra as you move through the exercise, for that is where the different forms of energy will be most clearly felt.

However, you will also experience some feelings from your genitals. That's only natural - this is, after all, a sexual experience! Try to see what these feelings are telling you. Do you, for example, feel any sense of shame or guilt? Do you have inhibitions about sex or your body? These are the emotional consequences of a lifetime of sexual experience: they are neither positive or negative - they just are your feelings. Try focusing on both your own and your partner's genitals. They are just a part of your body, and there is no right or wrong intrinsically attached to them. So how you feel about these parts of your bodies will tell you something about how you feel about sex.

Tantric Sex

If you are the man, sit on the floor and have your partner straddle you. Insert your erect penis into her vagina and the simply put your arms around each other without moving. You can support each other if you have your arms around each other's shoulders. Alternatively, if it is more comfortable, have the woman put her arms around the man's back, while the man puts his arms around her shoulders. next, look into each other's eyes. You may have heard that the eyes are regarded as the gateway to the soul. We often find it difficult to maintain eye contact in our society, so how easy or challenging you find this eye contact may reflect the degree of psychological defences you have erected against intimate contact with another person.

You may also have heard that placing the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, just where you palate meets your upper teeth, at the front of your mouth, is a way to maintain the energy flow around the body. There is a Tantric belief which suggests that this can also help a man to slow down his ejaculation - though this is only true if he is adept at moving the energy up from his genitals and around his body in the first place. It is the blocking of energy flow that causes premature ejaculation - when the energy which a man generates in his genitals becomes locked there instead of flowing all through his body.

The first thing you may feel is the warmth of the sexual energy rising from your pelvic chakra. Focus on this energy. Feel it as it rises and moves around your bodies. For the woman, this energy flow is likely to take the form of a coolness rising up the front of her belly and up towards her breasts. The man is likely to feel a hot flow of energy moving up his back. Feel the energy rising; visualize it in whatever way seems appropriate for you. You may find that the energy flow becomes so intense that you spontaneously reach orgasm without moving - and that's fine if you do. Enjoy it. However, orgasm is not necessarily the objective of this exercise - it's about learning to feel the energy flow and experience something that goes beyond the normal sexual experience of penetration, thrusting and ejaculation.

In fact, this sex position can be almost like a meditation, where you do not move but simply focus on the energy flowing through your bodies. For men who have a tendency to rapid ejaculation, this can be a good way of learning control, as there is less stimulation to cause increased arousal and ejaculation. you may eventually ejaculate anyway, but you will most likely find that you can keep the energy flowing for quite some time before there is any danger of this.

And, having said that, as always, there are no expectations and no pressures in this exercise, so whatever you feel (or don't feel)  is fine and requires only your acceptance, observation and possibly reflection back to your partner. If you arrive at the time for your lovemaking with a sense of being rushed, or not relaxed, then this exercise can be a very good way of developing a connection before you actually progress on to normal intercourse. Simply enjoy the experience for as long as you feel it is right, and then move on to your normal lovemaking positions and sexual experiences. You may choose to spend only a few minutes in this position, or you may want to spend a lot of time in it.....it all depends how you are feeling at the time, where your energy is when you start, and what you need sexually when you make love.

Of course, if you do get tired while you're doing this, simply change position and lie back for a while before you begin again. Talk to each other, communicate with your partner, touch each other...whatever you feel moved to do. As I implied above, this position is all about establishing connection and trust. You can even drink or eat in between sessions of connection! Whatever form intimacy takes for you is the form it needs to take as you do this. You'll naturally move on to something different when try the exercise again. And of course, if you find it more comfortable, you can try the same exercise in a chair, with the man sitting facing forward and the woman astride him, holding his shoulders or the back of the chair.

Next stage of the journey in Tantric Sex Positions

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