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Sex Techniques, Tips and
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Enjoying sex toys - dildoes, cock rings and
enjoy sex toys if you've never used them before?
You can take a view that sex should be
fun - of course, it can be many other things as well: spiritual,
passionate, loving, healing - but it can also just be fun!
playing sexually, messing around with your partner in fun sexual play, you
can use sex toys to add to the pleasure, and you can enjoy them when you
masturbate on your own.
What's more, you'll be following a long tradition: sex toys have
been around since the time the first woman discovered it could be fun to
insert something in her vagina.
The first recorded sign of sex toys is on
a vase dated about 2500 years B.C. where a woman is being penetrated
orally and vaginally by two huge dildos. The Chinese used silk bandages
as cock rings to maintain erection, and the Romans undoubtedly had
dildos, since we see representations of them many times in their art.
The Chinese had a clitoris tickler in the
shape of a ring of feathers which fitted over the penis, so that during
intercourse the woman's clitoris would be stimulated as her partner
thrusted. And of course many women who've worked with vibrating machinery
have had the unexpected pleasure of feeling aroused as the vibrations
stimulated their clitorises.
So if you would like to enjoy
the fun of sex toys, be they penetrative or not, the first step is to find
a good supplier and browse their stock.
find there are hundreds of dildos, cock rings, vibrators, duo-balls,
massage oils, condoms, inflatable toys, realistic vaginas and blow up male
dolls, and other toys galore: but they all have only one purpose - to get
you to orgasm with pleasure.
You may feel foolish buying (or event thinking of using a masturbatory aid
like a "realistic" vagina or a vibrator, but look at it this way: no-one
will ever know, and the sex toys can be delivered to you without anyone
The simple fact is this: that sex toys
can be a great way of enhancing your sex life, especially if you're a bit
Certainly, you can add immensely to your
sexual repertoire, and you can push the boundaries of your sexual
experience further than they have been taken before, both inside and
(Many vibrators are designed to be worn during
intercourse around the penis; they can also be inserted into the anal
canal for extra stimulation.)
You may want to start with the basic sex toy: the vibrator. These come in
all shapes and sizes, for all kinds of uses.
They can be inserted like a dildo into the
vagina or anus (even, in some cases, into both simultaneously), rubbed on
the clitoris or penis, or other parts of the body, or worn inside
harnesses or around condoms to provide added stimulation during sexual
By the way, vibrators can be a very effective
way of helping a woman to reach orgasm if her partner suffers from early
ejaculation and reaches orgasm before she does.
Obviously most vibrators are
battery powered, and this gives them the advantage of portability and
flexibility - you can take them anywhere, depending, I suppose, on their
Not all vibrators will fit into
a small handbag! However the batteries may not be particularly
If you're going down this route,
I'd recommend buying a vibrator which is designed to suit the shape of the
vulva, so you can stimulate the clitoris and the vaginal opening at the
Some vibrators simply, well, vibrate, but others twist, turn and rotate to
give added stimulation when they are inserted into the vagina.
These don't have to be solely for the use of a
woman masturbating on her own, as they can easily take a place in the sex
play of a couple before they have intercourse.
Slim vibrators tend to be more suited to anal use: they also have a cross
piece to stop them going too far up your anus!
Vibrators also come in the shape of Duo-balls,
designed to be inserted into the vagina and held there by muscle power.
For men, the most common sex toy is probably the cock ring, which fits
snugly around the base of the penis to keep his erection firm, perhaps
after he has ejaculated, so he can go on thrusting.
Combined with a vacuum
pump, these cock rings have a role in aiding men with erectile dysfunction
to keep an erection firm enough for intercourse.
How do you choose a
You may well want to find one
that vibrates at the best speed for you. In fact, scientific research has
shown that the best speed for a woman to reach orgasm with a vibrator is
80 cycles per second, though the opportunity to test the toy to see if it
matches your optimum "jiggle speed" may be rather limited!
Try one that attracts you from
and that you find aesthetically appealing.
How do you start?
If you're new to sex toys, you might want to start
by playing alone to get the feel of it (though obviously you can share the
experience with your sexual partner if you prefer!)
while you stroke your body with your hands. Make sure you're warm and
relaxed, and you have time to get into a sexy mood which won't be
Once you're relaxed, and you're focused on
what you're doing, turn the vibrator on to its lowest speed and move it
around over your stomach and chest to get the feel of it.
Try it on your nipples to see how exciting
this feels. Once you work up to putting it on your clitoris, discover how
you like to use it - a firm touch, a light touch or just little fleeting
moments of touch: and you may find a good lube helps you to enjoy this
Since each woman will respond to sexual
stimulation differently, finding out how you best like the vibrator to
stimulate your clitoris is a very personal thing, but all you need to do
is follow the sensations that feel good for you.
Just go with the flow, and when you find
what you like, try the vibrator with a harder touch and perhaps from a
Doing this on your own the first time you do this is
likely to cause you less embarrassment: if one of your reasons for getting
a vibrator is to reduce your sexual inhibitions, this is the best way to
start. Your sexual partner can enjoy the experience with you later.
It's impossible to know before you start
whether you will reach orgasm quickly or indeed at all.
Sexual responsiveness to a vibrator varies
greatly from woman to woman, so the best way to begin using a vibrator is
without any expectation that you will reach orgasm.
Find out what feels good for you, follow
the process and as you get amore aroused, try different strokes until you
find one that takes your sexual arousal on an increasing path towards
Sometimes you will find that you just don't
come, in which case, relax, don't get upset about it, and try again when
you feel sexy.
Being aroused before you start using a
vibrator is not a prerequisite, but it does mean you are more likely to
come. And you can also try the vibrator on all its different speed
settings to see which suits you best.
If you have never had an orgasm, it's a
reasonable question to ask: "How will I know when I am going to have an
The answer is that your body starts to do
things it doesn't normally do, like getting tense, with your back arching,
your hips thrusting, and your nipples erect.
It's a pleasant sensation, with an
increasing build up of tension in the pelvic muscles and around the anus
and vagina, which is released in a series of rhythmic contractions
accompanied by very pleasurable feelings at the moment of orgasm.
It's a good idea to focus on what your body
is feeling, though you can use fantasy to help you get more aroused and to
take you over the edge into orgasm if you need to.
It's my experience that woman often don't
reach orgasm for lack of a little extra stimulation, so if you feel you
might be near an orgasm, don't be afraid to turn up the power or speed of
While not all women need a vibrator to
reach orgasm, some find that the powerful rhythmic stimulation of the
vibrator on or near their clitoris is exactly what they need to get
Obviously you can use this during sex with
your partner to reach orgasm, perhaps even while you enjoy sexual
intercourse and your partner has his erect penis inside your vagina. This
can be a powerful and fulfilling sexual experience for both partners.
When you are able to reach orgasm with your
vibrator, you might want to learn how to use your fingers to reach orgasm.
You can take yourself most of the way to
orgasm using the vibrator, then, at the last moment, take over with your
fingers and use whatever movement of them on or near your clitoris will
get you into your orgasm.
Can I use it during intercourse?
A vibrator can be a great way of getting extra
pleasure during intercourse. You can use it when the
woman is on top or when you are
enjoying rear entry sex. (Other pages:
woman on top and
If your man is going to masturbate you
using the vibrator, you can lie on the bed with your legs apart while he
lies beside you and uses the vibrator to stimulate your clitoris and
You may well need to give him both
direction and feedback, as he is unlikely to know what sort of touch you
will enjoy unless you tell him!
Indeed, if the vibrator is a model that has
a small tip that requires placing precisely on your clitoris for you to
reach orgasm, then you might have to finish the job yourself to ensure
There's nothing wrong with using a vibrator to
Millions of women enjoy the extra sexual pleasure
that they get from using a vibrator. To overcome the idea that is it
inadequate or unnatural, take responsibility for your orgasm and
acknowledge that you are the one who is causes you to reach orgasm,
however it may be achieved.