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Enjoying sex toys - dildoes, cock rings and
enjoy sex toys if you've never used them before?
You can take a view that sex should be
fun - of course, it can be many other things as well: spiritual,
passionate, loving, healing - but it can also just be fun! When you're
playing sexually, messing around with your partner in fun sexual play, you
can use sex toys to add to the pleasure, and you can enjoy them when you
masturbate on your own.
What's more, you'll be following a long tradition: sex toys ( also called
sex aids or "marital aids", as they used to be so picaresquely named) have
been around since the time the first woman discovered it could be fun to
insert something in her vagina. The first recorded sign of sex toys is on
a vase dated about 2500 years B.C. where a woman is being penetrated
orally and vaginally by two huge dildoes. The Chinese used silk bandages
as cock rings to maintain erection, and the Romans undoubtedly had
dildoes, since we see representations of them many times in their art.
The Chinese had a clitoris tickler in the
shape of a ring of feathers which fitted over the penis, so that during
intercourse the woman's clitoris would be stimulated as her partner
thrusted. And of course many women who've worked with vibrating machinery
have had the unexpected pleasure of feeling aroused as the vibrations
stimulated their clitorises.
So if you would like to enjoy the fun of
sex toys, be they penetrative or not, the first step is to find a good
supplier and browse their stock. I actually have two recommendations for
you, suppliers that offer high quality and good value.
find there are hundreds of dildoes, cock rings, vibrators, duo-balls,
massage oils, condoms, inflatable toys, realistic vaginas and blow up male
dolls, and other toys galore: but they all have only one purpose - to get
you to orgasm with pleasure. You may feel foolish buying (or event
thinking of using a masturbatory aid like a "realistic" vagina or a
vibrator, but look at it this way: no-one will ever know, and the sex toys
can be delivered to you without anyone ever knowing.
The simple fact is this: that sex toys
can be a great way of enhancing your sex life, especially if you're a bit
Certainly, you can add immensely to your sexual repertoire, and you can
push the boundaries of your sexual experience further than they have been
taken before, both inside and outside intercourse. (Many vibrators are
designed to be worn during intercourse around the penis; they can also be
inserted into the anal canal for extra stimulation.)
You may want to start with the basic sex toy: the vibrator. These come in
all shapes and sizes, for all kinds of uses. They can be inserted like a
dildo into the vagina or anus (even, in some cases, into both
simultaneously), rubbed on the clitoris or penis, or other parts of the
body, or worn inside harnesses or around condoms to provide added
stimulation during sexual intercourse. By the way, vibrators can be a very
effective way of helping a woman to reach orgasm if her partner suffers
from rapid ejaculation or premature
ejaculation and reaches orgasm before she does.
Obviously most vibrators are battery
powered, and this gives them the advantage of portability and flexibility
- you can take them anywhere, depending, I suppose, on their size. Not all
vibrators will fit into a small handbag! However the batteries may not be
particularly long-lasting. If you're going down this route, I'd recommend
buying a vibrator which is designed to suit the shape of the vulva, so you
can stimulate the clitoris and the vaginal opening at the same time.
Mains vibrators are much more
controllable. The doyenne of the powered vibrator is the Sybian - a
machine guaranteed to give every woman who tries it an orgasm.
The Sybian Orgasm Machine For
Get the details here!
Some vibrators simply, well, vibrate, but others twist, turn and rotate to
give added stimulation when they are inserted into the vagina. These don't
have to be solely for the use of a woman masturbating on her own, as they
can easily take a place in the sex play of a couple before they have
Slim vibrators tend to be more suited to anal use: they also have a cross
piece to stop them going too far up your anus! Vibrators also come in the
shape of Duo-balls, designed to be inserted into the vagina and held there
by muscle power.
For men, the most common sex toy is probably the cock ring, which fits
snugly around the base of the penis to keep his erection firm, perhaps
after he has ejaculated, so he can go on thrusting. Combined with a vacuum
pump, these cock rings have a role in aiding men with erectile dysfunction
to keep an erection firm enough for intercourse.
How do you choose a
You may well want to find one that
vibrates at the best speed for you. In fact, scientific research has shown
that the best speed for a woman to reach orgasm with a vibrator is 80
cycles per second, though the opportunity to test the toy to see if it
matches your optimum "jiggle speed" may be rather limited! Try one that
attracts you from and that you find aesthetically appealing.
How do you start?
If you're new to sex toys, you might want to start
by playing alone to get the feel of it (though obviously you can share the
experience with your sexual partner if you prefer!)
you stroke your body with your hands. Make sure you're warm and relaxed,
and you have time to get into a sexy mood which won't be interrupted! Once
you're relaxed, and you're focused on what you're doing, turn the vibrator
on to its lowest speed and move it around over your stomach and chest to
get the feel of it. Try it on your nipples to see how exciting this feels.
Once you work up to putting it on your clitoris, discover how you like to
use it - a firm touch, a light touch or just little fleeting moments of
touch: and you may find a good lube helps you to enjoy this more.
Since each woman will respond to sexual stimulation
differently, finding out how you best like the vibrator to stimulate your
clitoris is a very personal thing, but all you need to do is follow the
sensations that feel good for you. Just go with the flow, and when you
find what you like, try the vibrator with a harder touch and perhaps from
a different angle.
Doing this on your own the first time you do this is
likely to cause you less embarrassment: if one of your reasons for getting
a vibrator is to reduce your sexual inhibitions, this is the best way to
start. Your sexual partner can enjoy the experience with you later.
It's impossible to know before you start whether you
will reach orgasm quickly or indeed at all. Sexual responsiveness to a
vibrator varies greatly from woman to woman, so the best way to begin
using a vibrator is without any expectation that you will reach orgasm.
Find out what feels good for you, follow the process and as you get amore
aroused, try different strokes until you find one that takes your sexual
arousal on an increasing path towards orgasm. Sometimes you will find that
you just don't come, in which case, relax, don't get upset about it, and
try again when you feel sexy. Being aroused before you start using a
vibrator is not a prerequisite, but it does mean you are more likely to
come. And you can also try the vibrator on all its different speed
settings to see which suits you best.
If you have never had an orgasm, it's a reasonable
question to ask: "How will I know when I am going to have an orgasm?" The
answer is that your body starts to do things it doesn't normally do, like
getting tense, with your back arching, your hips thrusting, and your
nipples erect. It's a pleasant sensation, with an increasing build up of
tension in the pelvic muscles and around the anus and vagina, which is
released in a series of rhythmic contractions accompanied by very
pleasurable feelings at the moment of orgasm. If you don't know what an
orgasm looks like, buy a subscription to
I Feel Myself, which shows real
films of real women having real orgasms. You can play clips below to check
it out. As you can see, they also have clips of men reaching orgasm
It's a good idea to focus on what your body is
feeling, though you can use fantasy to help you get more aroused and to
take you over the edge into orgasm if you need to. It's my experience that
woman often don't reach orgasm for lack of a little extra stimulation, so
if you feel you might be near an orgasm, don't be afraid to turn up the
power or speed of your vibrator!
While not all women need a vibrator to reach orgasm,
some find that the powerful rhythmic stimulation of the vibrator on
or near their clitoris is exactly what they need to get to orgasm.
Obviously you can use this during sex with your partner to reach orgasm,
perhaps even while you enjoy sexual intercourse and your partner has his
erect penis inside your vagina. This can be a powerful and fulfilling
sexual experience for both partners.
When you are able to reach orgasm with your
vibrator, you might want to learn how to use your fingers to reach orgasm.
You can take yourself most of the way to orgasm using the vibrator, then,
at the last moment, take over with your fingers and use whatever movement
of them on or near your clitoris will get you into your orgasm.
Can I use it during intercourse?
A vibrator can be a great way of getting extra
pleasure during intercourse. You can use it when the
woman is on top or when you are
enjoying rear entry sex. (Other pages:
woman on top and
If your man is going to masturbate you using the
vibrator, you can lie on the bed with your legs apart while he lies beside
you and uses the vibrator to stimulate your clitoris and vulva. You may
well need to give him both direction and feedback, as he is unlikely to
know what sort of touch you will enjoy unless you tell him! Indeed, if the
vibrator is a model that has a small tip that requires placing precisely
on your clitoris for you to reach orgasm, then you might have to finish
the job yourself to ensure sexual satisfaction!
There's nothing wrong with using a vibrator to
Millions of women enjoy the extra sexual pleasure
that they get from using a vibrator. To overcome the idea that is it
inadequate or unnatural, take responsibility for your orgasm and
acknowledge that you are the one who is causes you to reach orgasm,
however it may be achieved.
Sex Furniture - Makes Every Sex Position Orgasmic!
This isn't so
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able to get into. It's a revolution in sexual pleasure, or at least,
it can produce such a revolution, as you'll see if you visit the
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