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The secret of a successful love life - varied sexual positionsMost couples try a dozen different sex
positions in their first year, settle on two or three for the next five After a few years, the whole picture may change: women may thrill to new ways of stimulation and crave deep penetration or unusual angles of approach. Men find that certain positions restore pleasant snugness to sex, and that a variety of positions quickly eliminates any yearning for new bedmates. But of course, the lovemaking skills required to enjoy fulfilling and satisfying sexual relations in many different positions comes only with experience and a certain desire to improve the quality of your sex lives. The basic lying-on-your-sides positionThe best initial position to commence or revitalize your sex life is one which places both of you comfortably lying on your sides. You can get into this position most easily by making sexual contact with the woman on her back. She spreads and bends her legs. Her partner supports his body above her on his hands and knees. He brings his penis into contact with the vagina (but not necessarily into deep penetration). The woman then brings her legs up until they rest against her man's upper thighs, and the couple then rolls together onto one side or the other, remaining face to face. This position has several advantages. The man can pause for as long as necessary to control his urge to ejaculate without either tiring himself by supporting his weight or squashing his partner by failing to do so. His angle of approach lines up his penis almost perfectly with her vagina, keeping the amount of internal stretching to a minimum (which might be more comfortable for some women). Both partners have their hands free for caresses to the breast areas, the buttocks, the back and the thighs, which can maintain her excitement when too rapid progress towards his climax makes the man pause in his lovemaking, as often happens during the early days of a relationship, or when a man is young and lusty! And the relatively limited range of movement available to both partners keeps even quite poorly synchronized movements from leading to the penis popping out of the vagina or painful over-stretching of genital tissues. For men: one way to deal with premature or rapid male climax is to stick to this sexual position almost exclusively until you have learned to control the urge to ejaculate so that you can decide when to bring yourself to climax. You might even want to make such control your main objective in the first flush of a new relationship. The woman can maintain your excitement with words, kisses, caresses, and such sexual movements as she can manage unless you ask her to keep still. You can cautiously try various sexual movements and rhythms with long pauses in between to allow your desire to ejaculate to subside. These cautious and interrupted periods of lovemaking work best in an on-your-sides sex position, at least until the final surge of orgasm (for which you can roll back to the man-on-top, woman-on-her-back posture if you wish). Unfortunately there is a price to be paid for the fact that the man gains greater control: his partner may lose much or all of her sexual excitement during the long pauses between his movements. She will almost never reach orgasm this way.....However, such sessions can make a big difference in several ways. If both partners can learn how to judge and influence the man's level of arousal, they can prolong sexual intercourse quite considerably if they wish. And when a woman is not overcome with her own passion, she can look for the tricks and caresses which she can later use to increase both her own and her man's pleasure when she is aroused. The biggest advantage is that the man gains ejaculatory control. Both the man and the woman gain sexual confidence from totally controlled lovemaking. He feels entirely secure in his sexual capacity when he can say: "I've mastered my ejaculation so completely that I can make love until I decide to end it." She feels perfect confidence in both her attractiveness and sexual skill when she can say: "I've proved that I can satisfy him one hundred per cent without him coming too soon." Working towards simultaneous orgasm It's not essential, nor even necessary. Sure, it's nice, very nice, and well worth experiencing. Yes, sometimes it's mind blowing. So if you do want to work towards simultaneous orgasm, and the man has enough self-control to keep going for long periods, the next step is to bring the woman's sexual arousal to a high level before you start intercourse. Some men can go right into a sexual rhythm that stimulates their partner without any initial pause, especially when they have had plenty of ejaculations recently. This means using the man's self control and staying power to make sure his orgasm coincides with the peak of excitement of his partner. The on-your-sides sex position offers enough stimulation to achieve this. Woman on top sex positionsSex positions with the woman on top can improve your sense of togetherness and give you new thrills and variations in your sex life. Unfortunately, the woman-astride-on-top positions give the female partner such freedom of movement that she can easily push her partner into an early orgasm unless she knows how far she can go without making him come (although she can always stop moving whenever he says he is getting too near orgasm). And the very deep penetration involved sometimes stretches the vagina during the more vigorous movements, which some women may find uncomfortable. But the woman astride positions also have several advantages: The man can caress her clitoris freely during intercourse; in fact, he can keep one finger or a thumb constantly on the clitoris while he uses his other hand to caress her breasts, buttocks, thighs and abdomen. This is likely to please most women very much. By letting the woman set her own pace and govern the intensity of clitoral and vaginal stimulation, both partners can learn what speed and pressures suit her best. The experienced woman can experiment until she knows exactly what she wants and needs to reach orgasm; not only can she get it in this position, but she can also show her partner what she would like him to do to her. Having sex in these positions is a good way for a woman to discover her sexually demanding and powerful side! A woman who suppresses her lustful impulses misses out on a vital part of her sexuality; when she takes over the reins of intercourse and rides her man, she comes into her own as an active, passionate partner, which mutually intensifies sex. It's possible to find a rhythm in the woman on top positions which can speed the woman towards her climax without greatly affecting the man's arousal. So long as the woman keeps her genitals pressed down upon her partner's body, his penis receives no in-and-out friction at all. She may then bring herself to orgasm with clitoral play while he is inside her. By contrast, if she uses side-to-side movements, rocking motions, and rotary hip-twirling movements, while allowing her partner to simultaneously move in and out as much as he wishes, both partners can receive very intense stimulation and have a chance of simultaneous orgasm. There are three main variations of woman on top sex positions. Woman on top - the man lies on his back with his partner's lower legs outside his thighsThe deep penetration involved in this position may cause pain unless the woman's vagina is well-lubricated and nicely relaxed, so she needs to be well aroused before intercourse commences. One way to achieve this is to start with the woman on her back, then when you're ready, roll over until she is on top. She then half sits on her partner's genitals while resting her weight on her knees. In this position, she can lean back to make heavy sexual friction by angling the penis in the vagina or lean forward to bring her clitoris firmly against the man's body. She can move from side to side, rock back and forth or twirl in a level circular motion which combines with her partner's thrusts to produce a unique effect. A few women find that the an ovary or some other tender structure is pressed by the deeply penetrating penis, with resulting twinges of discomfort during intercourse. The answer is to either move with less exuberance, or adopt one of the other astride positions. However, most women find that they can move with complete sexual abandon and so produce every type of sexual stimulation which they enjoy or require to reach orgasm. The man spreads his legs apart and his partner keeps her knees between his thighs Although she must usually keep her knees a few inches apart to leave room for genital contact, she can support part of her weight upon her elbows if she wishes, or let her body fall against his. A pillow under the husband's hips may facilitate penetration for some couples. This position involves less depth of penetration than the first one described, so it doesn't run the risk of "penetration discomfort". And a woman with a loose vagina can often restore tightness in this position simply by moving her thighs closer together. The woman sits on his lap facing him, with one leg on either side of his body This makes foreplay a breeze! Both partners have their hands entirely free and can caress almost all of their sexually sensitive areas in many different ways. This sexual position also permits a unique form of sexual contact in which the head of the penis lies within the vaginal opening with the woman sitting just far enough back so that it can rub but not penetrate. Her man can bounce her on his lap or make small thrusts while she remains free to rock and slide or writhe from side to side, as he caresses her breasts, buttocks, thighs, and genital area. She can move from this preliminary position into complete sexual contact simply by sliding forward a few inches, or can settle into an intermediate position where she can rock forward for full sex contact or rock backward for further play. By mixing these two in just the right proportions to maintain the man's excitement without precipitating his climax, they can keep up mutual stimulation for much longer than in most other sex positions and achieve very pleasant sensations indeed. More on rear entry sexual postures More on side by side positions Variations of sexual positions - the woman astride position Angles of the woman's legs during lovemaking and how it affects sensations |