Sex Positions & Techniques

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[ Sex tips menu page ] Facts on average sexual frequency & partners ] Why give up sex in favor of intimacy? ] Sexual and sensual massage ] Dealing with rapid ejaculation ] How to put a condom on during sex ] Sex without intercourse ] How to enjoy sex toys ] Men and women's favorite sex positions ] Why try new positions? ] Missionary position revisited ] Woman on top position revisited ] [ Seated, side by side & rear entry sex positions revisited ] Varying the sensation of the penis in the vagina during sexual intercourse. ] Controlling your orgasms and coming together ] Advice on thrusting for him - and her! ] Greater variety in lovemaking 2 ] Greater variety in lovemaking 3 ] How to deal with low sexual desire ] Sex survey ]

Side by side sex positions

The side by side sex position, lying facing each other on your sides, can be the least tiring of all the sexual positions. The man lies on his right side facing his partner, who lies turned towards him on her left side. She then raises her lower leg, the one on the bed, and passes it over his lower leg, bending it a little at the knee and pushing her thigh high up between the man's. He then passes his upper leg over her lower leg at the same time maneuvering his penis into line with her vagina entrance. The woman will nearly always have to help his penis into her vagina; as soon as the man feels the warm softness of her vagina around his penis, he thrusts his upper leg as far over as it will go, which pushes his penis deeper into her. She then passes her upper leg over his upper leg, bending it so that, if possible, she can take a purchase with the crook of her knee on the man's hipbone.

(If all this makes this sex position sound difficult if not impossible to get into, then simply starting in the man on top position for sex and then roll over onto your side with the woman's thighs well drawn up. This is a good substitute for the complicated maneuvers outlined above, though you end up in a slightly different position.)

Usually by the time the more complicated maneuvers have been performed the man is lying more on his back than on his side, and his penis may not be very far into his partner. If the tip of the penis can get even a short way past the vaginal entrance, so that the head and none of the shaft penetrates the vagina and can be withdrawn and then put back again, sensations are produced in the woman which are quite unlike any other; the man, too, enjoys the feeling of his glans rubbing against the soft tissues of the vaginal entrance. But because there is much less pressure on his penis in this position, he is much more likely to be able to delay his ejaculation and last longer during sex and intercourse.

The mutual sensations experienced in this position are like no other, except perhaps in the man on top position for intercourse when the man arches his back and holds his pubic area away from his partner's so that only the head of his penis goes in and out of her vaginal entrance. This movement, however, is tiring, whereas the thrust and withdrawal in the side-by-side position produces no physical strain. But one big drawback is that there can be so much lubricating fluid produced in this sexual position that the penis loses friction with the vagina at the very moment the man is reaching the point of orgasm and ejaculation, with reduced sensation for one or both partners as a result.

Seated sex positions

It is quite astonishing how few couples try making love in positions other than those in the bedroom. For example, the face to face seated sexual positions are one obvious option: the man sits on a chair with his legs either stretched out before him, or, parted, placed to the back so that his genitals are pushed forward. The woman then stands astride him, lowers herself on to his penis and when entrance has been made, sits firmly on his legs. Penetration is reasonably deep, but there are other advantages which no other intercourse position permits.

For instance, all the erogenous zones of the woman's back and thighs are within easy reach of his hands; if she leans back with her hands on his shoulders, he can readily stimulate a nipple with his mouth; kissing, both on the lips, on the erotic zones of the throat and shoulders, and deep kissing are possible; he can stimulate her clitoris with a finger more easily than in any other position; while she can reach down and stroke his lower belly, or stimulate his nipples with her fingers, and a hand around behind him can put the necessary pressure on his erector centre.

This position can be reversed, the woman sitting on her man's lap with her back to him. He can reach around her and stimulate both a nipple and the clitoris simultaneously, while caressing her spine and the erotic zones on her shoulders and the nape of her neck with his tongue. She, on the other hand, can fondle his testicles gently and lightly run the tips of her fingers along that portion of the underside of shaft of his penis which cannot enter the vagina. (Except in the woman-astride positions there is always a portion of the under side of the shaft of the penis exposed, no matter how deep the penetration is, due to the fact that the penis shaft is always longer on the underside than on the upper side.)

The face to face standing position can only be successfully used for sex without adjustments having to be made when the man and woman are more or less the same height. If the woman is shorter than the man she must stand on something to raise her pubic area to a level with his. Even then, much will depend on the location of the vaginal entrance which ought to be set forward in order for the penis to penetrate to a reasonable depth. This imperfect position is better than nothing, for it does allow the most intimate contact to be made and this in itself can be emotionally satisfying even though the orgasm may not be very intense.

There is a variation of this sexual position called The Tree, where the man stands for sex with his feet apart to steady himself as much as possible, the woman taking her position in front of him, also with feet apart. The penis is put into the vagina, the woman clasps her hands behind her man's back and at the same time he clasps his hands under her bottom. At a given signal the woman swings her feet off the ground at the same time that the man lifts her bottom, and she grips his hips between her thighs, if possible crossing her feet at the small of his back. Moderately deep penetration occurs. However, the hazards of sex in this position are considerable, and if he happens to drop her while his penis is still inside her, the results can be very damaging indeed. 

Another face to face sex position which can be very satisfactory requires the woman to sit on a table, on cushions to bring her pubic area level with yours, or, if the table is a high one, the man should stand on something firm so that the tip of his penis is pointed at a spot halfway between the table and her navel. She opens her legs so he can put his penis into her, whereupon she puts her legs round his hips and crosses her feet behind him. Both partners' hands are free to caress the accessible erotic zones. One of the most stimulating caresses in this position is a mutual activity in which the woman, with a hand around each breast, rubs her nipples against the man's while he stimulates her clitoris with a finger. Alternatively she strokes his lower belly with one hand and caresses his spine and buttocks with the other; or she can fondle his testicles while he stimulates one of her nipples with one hand and her clitoris with the other.

The position in which the woman lies across the bed with her buttocks over the edge, her feet touching the floor, while the man stands between her legs, is much more satisfactorily accomplished if she lies on a table. Because the man's feet are firmly planted on the floor he can stand up straight, though he may have to have his legs wide apart or his knees bent to allow his penis to enter the vagina. This standing straight allows the man to 'swing' his pubic area much more freely when he makes thrusting movements, and additional stimulation is given to both by the scrotum brushing against her crotch as the man goes forward and withdraws.

The rear entry position is very exciting, but it doesn't seem to be as popular as the man on top or missionary position.

For rear entry sex, the woman kneels on the bed on her hands and knees with her legs apart, while the man kneels behind her and puts his penis into her vagina. The couple can quite easily make the necessary adjustments to compensate for differences in height. In every case penetration is exceptionally deep, and if the vaginal entrance is set back, the depth to which the penis enters the woman is almost equal to that experienced in the woman on top sex positions. Though you will not have the pulling sensations of the astride positions, your woman will certainly have the stretching sensations.

There are advantages and disadvantages to this position. Though you may be one of those lucky minority couples who make penis-clitoris contact naturally in most of the other positions, in this one, no matter how low-set or prominent the clitoris may be, there can be no such contact. On the other hand, both your hands will be free, and while the man uses one hand to fondle a breast the other can be used to stimulate his partner's clitoris. The man can use his lips and tongue to caress the erotic zones of his partner's back.

For the man: Clearly, your woman will not be able to caress you anywhere, but this sex position is unique in providing one source of sexual stimulation naturally and unavoidably. As you thrust, the erotic zone of your lower belly will brush against the sensitive zones of your woman's bottom. When you make rotary movements with your pelvis instead of thrusts, with only light contact between belly and bottom, the contact is more stimulating than when the thrusting movements are vigorous and your bodies make heavy contact. This is because your pubic hair, as well as the hairy skin of your belly, will brush against your woman's skin and have a particularly arousing effect on her - similar to light touches of your lips and tongue. The effect on you will be equally arousing.

There is another unique feature of these sex positions which adds to its possibilities for stimulation. Owing to the alignment of some of your woman's internal organs - the angle of the vagina, the uterus and the rectum - as you move your penis backward and forward inside her, a little air flows in as you draw back and is forced out again as you push your penis forward. If your movements are at all vigorous this air comes out of the vagina with the sound that would be made if you lightly smacked any part of the body with the slightly curved palm of the hand. As sounds play an important role in the excitement of lovemaking for most people, this can add a lot to your sexual arousal.

There are a number of variations to sex in the rear-entry sexual position. If, for instance, your woman lies face down with her legs apart, you can lie between them, put your penis into her, and lower your chest and body onto her back. As you will have to support at least some of your weight on one elbow, this leaves only one hand free, which should be used to stimulate the clitoris. The erotic zones of the nape of her neck and shoulders are right under your tongue; by arching your back a little you can bring your lower belly and pubic hair into play; and the parts of your penis-shaft that cannot enter the vagina will more likely than not have the added stimulation of being rubbed lightly by the smooth bed sheets under it. This variation can be adopted whether her vaginal entrance is set forward or back. If it is set forward, penetration will not be so deep as when it is set back. In neither instance will penetration be so deep as when your woman kneels.

A variation of the rear-entry position can also be used when you are lying on your sides, though this entails some adjustment for an effective contact to be made. Your woman, for example, may have to have a pillow under her hips to raise her pubic area to the height of yours; or her vaginal entrance may be set so far forward that for your penis to get even its head inside she will have to draw her knees upward towards her chest. Your penis is more likely to slip out of her in this position more easily than in any other position.

Quite as effective as the woman-kneeling position for sex is the variation in which she stands and leans forward over a table as far as she can go, with cushions under her for comfort. You stand behind her between her parted legs, put your penis into her and remain standing upright while you thrust - you can try to get one hand on her clitoris. She may have to stand on something to raise her pubic area if you are much taller than she is. And a variation on this, though penetration is not so deep and you will not be able to attend to her clitoris or provide her with any other stimulation except your pubic hair against her bottom, is for you to support her legs, which will be stretched out behind her, with your hands.

Now, though your woman may have made no objection at all to having her back towards you in the woman-astride or sitting-on-a-chair positions for lovemaking, you may find that you will have to overcome her prejudices against any other rear-entry position. She may feel somewhat degraded by what she sees as the animalistic nature of rear entry sex.

How to move your penis in her vagina

It's odd how many men have the notion that the only movement they can make with the penis inside the vagina is the backward-and-forward in-and-out thrusting we associate with sex. Certainly this movement provides the best stimulation for the man and of course it is pleasant for the woman, and should the penis make contact with the clitoris, it will stimulate her, too. On the other hand, it so stimulates the man that it may make him come too quickly - since he is naturally quicker than the woman anyway, this is not always desirable. Good sexual sensations are aroused in the woman if instead of thrusting, you press your pubic area not too heavily on hers and moves your hips from side to side (when your penis is inside her). Even if your penis does not rub directly against her clitoris in the backward and forward movements, the pressing of the pubic areas combined with the side-to-side movement of your hips will almost certainly stimulate her clitoral area. But the main advantage is that while the side-to-side movements will increase her sexual arousal, they will have very little effect on yours, thus making your build-up much slower, so that you can match her pace more easily.

Another movement that is helpful from this point of view, though slightly more stimulating for you, is a circular movement from the pubic area. You press on her pubic area with yours, as I described previously, but instead of moving your hips from side to side, you rotate your pubic area. In order to do this you will find that you have to make thrusting movements with the penis. But instead of withdrawing practically the whole length of the penis as you do in your normal backward and forward thrusting, it is only necessary to withdraw one or two inches.

Both the side-by-side and the rotary movements should be made quite slowly, but deliberately. This also applies to the backward and forward thrusting unless your woman asks you to speed up your movements as she begins to reach orgasm during intercourse, or you are compelled by your needs to speed up when the action becomes involuntary. It is quite difficult to give an idea of the speed, but I suggest that if you count at the speed of seconds, you should withdraw at one and thrust at two, while you should make two side-by-side movements in one, and a complete rotary movement in two. I know of one man who, as soon as he got his penis inside his woman, went about his thrusting movements as if his penis were a battering ram, with the result that she was unable to orgasm during sex, and his orgasm was weak.

Man on top intercourse positions - the missionary position revisited

Woman on top position revisited

Side by side, standing and rear entry revisited

[ Sex tips menu page ] Facts on average sexual frequency & partners ] Why give up sex in favor of intimacy? ] Sexual and sensual massage ] Dealing with rapid ejaculation ] How to put a condom on during sex ] Sex without intercourse ] How to enjoy sex toys ] Men and women's favorite sex positions ] Why try new positions? ] Missionary position revisited ] Woman on top position revisited ] [ Seated, side by side & rear entry sex positions revisited ] Varying the sensation of the penis in the vagina during sexual intercourse. ] Controlling your orgasms and coming together ] Advice on thrusting for him - and her! ] Greater variety in lovemaking 2 ] Greater variety in lovemaking 3 ] How to deal with low sexual desire ] Sex survey ]