Sex Techniques and Positions
The best guide to sex and lovemaking on the Internet
Sizzling sex tips to make your sex life absolutely fantastic....because great sex is about more than just positions!
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But why have a section of sex tips, tricks and techniques at all?
Discovering new sex positions is great, of course, and can add hugely to the fun of a sexual relationship, but new positions alone will not increase your sexual compatibility with your lover in the long term.
What makes a sexual relationship successful has more to do with intimacy, tenderness, tolerance and open-mindedness, not to mention being accepting and non-judgmental when your partner opens up their heart and soul to you in the act of lovemaking.
When you know each other well, the way you make love on successive occasions can be very different. One day you may be in the mood for passionate, urgent sex; the next you may want slow, romantic and loving sex.
Women especially can expose their vulnerability and gentleness through the act of love - or, rather, they can do so when they connect their heart and body and open up fully to a man - this is something that usually happens when they trust him.
And it's also important to remember that the sexual positions and techniques which you liked and favored in a previous relationship may have to be modified or even abandoned when you meet a new partner, for sex is definitely not a "one size fits all" activity!
With a new relationship, allow plenty of time for a sensual approach to lovemaking. Take the time to get to know your partner and their body: this way, you will better understand what turns them on, what they like and appreciate, and what things to avoid. What does this mean in practice?
Perhaps, first and foremost, it means communicating with your partner. Even sexually experienced men and women can be shy about asking for what they want in a sexual encounter, whether this means a particular position or activity (like oral sex), or a different approach to lovemaking (like taking it more slowly, for example).
But there's a real danger that if you don't ask for what you want, you'll end up feeling resentful and disappointed, feelings which are bound to leak out in some way in your relationship. The key aspect of being able to talk to your partner is feeling safe - knowing that they will not put you down or belittle your sexual desires or wishes.
Second, it means taking the time and trouble to understand what your partner really wants from sex (especially if they are to shy to say it without your help). Nowhere is this more clear than in the question of how men and women like to be touched during sex.
We all know that men like their penis to be stimulated (a horrible word, but it's hard to think of a better one: fondled? caressed? masturbated?) early on during sex, and with a firm pressure. This is so different to the way women like to be touched: a woman usually prefers a more gentle and subtle approach, with delicate touches from her partner only after she has become aroused.
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The clitoris is extremely sensitive, and most women dislike being touched there too early on in lovemaking. As a general guide, it's only after being kissed, caressed and touched elsewhere, all over her body, belly, back, neck, shoulders, and indeed touched enough to become so aroused that she is producing vaginal lubrication, that a woman is ready for her lover to approach her clitoris.
Too much touch, too soon, is not only irritating for her but can also be quite painful. (Not something a man would ever say about his partner touching his penis!) Having said that, once a woman is aroused, touching and licking on and around her clitoris can be extremely exciting for her.
There's a huge variety of movements on and around the clitoris that a woman may like you to try: for example, gently touching it with the very tip of your tongue, licking up and under her clitoris from the vaginal entrance, gently pressing your lips across the hood of her clitoris, or the moving your warm wet tongue across her whole vulval area - there's no way to predict what will turn a woman on most, and the only ways to find out are either to ask her, or better yet, to try and find out for yourself!
But even though a woman may find it incredibly erotic and powerful when you stimulate her clitoris, she will almost certainly want you to focus on other parts of her body as well from time to time: her nipples and breasts, of course, for they are two of the most erotic and erogenous zones on her body; her belly, neck, lips and face; her buttocks; in fact, all of the rest of her body may be aching for your touch and caresses as you make love to her.
If you're using your fingers to play on or around her clitoris, then you'll certainly need some lubrication - either her natural vaginal juices if she produces enough, or saliva, frequently replenished from your mouth. This will give you the perfect opportunity to kiss or lick her vulva, which can be as delightful for you as for her. If you prefer, you can use some artificial lubricant instead. You must use a water-based lube if you are going to wear a condom later on when you penetrate her.
For a woman stimulating a man, the important thing to remember is that his penis is much more used to being handled firmly - perhaps even in your eyes roughly - than your clitoris. A good way to learn how he likes his penis to be handled is to watch him masturbate: you can then try and copy his movements. But don't be afraid of trying something you've thought of for yourself as well: you'll know when he likes what you're doing from the sounds he makes! Kissing and licking his testicles as you stroke his penis shaft or lick its head is also a sure-fire way to bring him great pleasure.
There is another reason why I think this section is important. It's because sexual problems are much more common than you might think, and anything that sparks off a higher level of arousal for men and women may help to solve certain problems - namely, anorgasmia in women, and retarded or delayed ejaculation in men.
I admit it's a bit simplistic to think that simply offering a page of sexual tips and tricks can instantly solve a man or woman's anorgasmia - but what it can do is offer hope and ideas. Hope, in the sense that you have something to look forward to when you are fully orgasmic; ideas, in the sense that you can look through them with your partner and by doing so, open up new lines of communication and discussion - which is the first stage of becoming more liberated about sex.