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Sexual Positions With The Man On Top
Anyone who's been in a long-term committed sexual relationship or even a short-term one knows that having successful sex with your partner is about much more than just knowing every possible sexual technique in the world and hundreds of sexual positions.
However, what is also true is that good sex is the building block of any relationship the foundation stone that keeps people loving and living together, mostly because good sex is the fastest way to true intimacy. And to have good sex, you need variety: which is why knowing lots of sexual positions, or at least finding new ones to try every so often, can be really helpful in a relationship.
Why do I say that good sex depends on variety?
Well, the answer's simple: if you carry on having sex in the same sexual position over and over again, you very quickly get bored, it loses its thrill, and the physical sensations are just not as exciting. Then you stop making love so often, you lose intimacy...and things head downhill.
We know that couples who try lots of different lovemaking positions, who experiment together, and try out lots of fun (or passionate or different) sexual positions, love and laugh together more, as well as having more sex, more often, and they generally have better relationships.
And that's why we've built a site here that has lots of photographs of couples (all of whom are in committed relationships) making love. The photographs are tasteful, and explicit, and very suitable for a man and woman to enjoy together. This could be the perfect way of breaking the ice before you go to bed - like an old Japanese pillow book, you can look at the pictures with your partner, point out the ones you want to try, and avoid the embarrassment of trying to describe what you want to do without a picture to show you how to do it.
Now, you might be thinking this all sounds a bit weird!
So ask yourself what sex means for you. The answer is probably this: it means many different things, depending on how you're feeling and what you want from your partner. If you're in a romantic mood, and you want slow, gentle lovemaking, then man on top is a conventional sexual position that is going to be very enjoyable. With the hundreds of variations that are possible with the man on top, you're never going to be short of sexual excitement and inspiration. If you want harder, raunchier sex, then rear entry might just fit the bill. And if you want romance, then side-by-side sex, facing each other, is definitely the sex position for the moment.
I don't want to give the impression that all sex needs to be thought about at length in advance: clearly that's ridiculous! If passion takes you, and you have a strong urge to make love right now, right here (wherever that may be!), then you probably don't need to give a lot of thought your choice of sexual position - it'll just unfold naturally.
But if you're feeling romantic and loving towards your partner, then sometimes a bit of thought can add spice to the lovemaking. For example, you might want to make love in bed before you go to sleep, or you might want to have a passionate sexual encounter in the afternoon, during which you can try several different sexual positions.... Well, whatever your needs and desires, this site is designed to give you lots of choice in the matter of lovemaking positions.
But are there any other advantages to trying different sexual positions? Yes, as you might expect - and not just because this is a site entirely about that subject! For one thing, a lot of couples don't realize that if they experiment with different postures when they make love, the angle of penetration can change dramatically, which in turn can produce very different sensations.
If you're stuck in a rut, perhaps just using man on top sex 99% of the time you make love, trying out something different may be a revelation for you, producing vastly different sensations both for the man and woman during lovemaking.
Of course, it's all about the angle of the man's erection, and the angle of the woman's vagina, and perhaps also the depth of penetration. How deep you go can be very important for some people, but it's worth remembering that the most sensitive part of woman's vagina is just a couple of inches inside on the top surface as she lies on her back. (That's where the G spot is!)
Not every couple will get the same experience in the same sexual position because not all erections poke out from the man's body at the same angle, and nor do all vaginas have the same internal orientation.
That's perhaps the best technical reason for experimenting with new and different sexual positions, but the reward is the end result greater and greater pleasure when you find your best sex position.
Now, having said all of that, it's also true that there are variations of technique which can make a great deal of difference to your experience of making love. For one thing, sex doesn't have to be just about hard thrusting, no matter how rewarding a woman may find this. In some sexual positions, it's possible to get a great deal of enjoyment by simply rotating the pelvis in a circular movement; in others, it's possible just to lie still and feel the energetic connection between you, which in itself can be incredibly sexually arousing and fulfilling.
A lot of men, being so orgasm-oriented themselves, don't realize that for a woman it's not always necessary to reach orgasm during sex: that the simple act of making such a deep physical connection with a lover can be just as fulfilling and rewarding as orgasmic sex, and indeed can meet all a woman's needs during sex on those occasions when she doesn't want an orgasm.
That's a pretty good example of why it's helpful from time to time to try and put yourself in your partner's position and see what they might be wanting to get out of sex. It's often said that men need sex before they can get into contact with their feelings of love for their partners, and while a lot of women see this as pressure for men to have sex with them, it really is true.
By contrast, women often need to feel loving towards their partner before they want sex. If you understand this simple difference between men and women, you can probably see why men so often expect to have sex after an argument - a fact which can absolutely astonish women, who can't conceive of making love until the emotional air is cleared.
Another variation of sexual technique is to enjoy different depths of thrusting. Hard, deep thrusting will make most men reach orgasm and ejaculate very quickly. That's particularly true where the sexual position itself is very exciting I'm thinking of rear entry here. But it's possible to last much longer during sex if you, as the man, thrust gently and shallowly, perhaps adding a deep thrust after every nine or 10 shallow thrusts. You'll find this can powerfully stimulate your partner's G spot, and give her great pleasure, particularly if you're stimulating her clitoris with your finger at the same time.
The point is that it's always worth trying something different: men tend to have a rush towards orgasm, and derive great satisfaction from that, it's true. But this approach often doesn't suit their female partner, who may want a slower, more romantic type of lovemaking with plenty of foreplay until she's fully aroused.
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In the end, it's partly a matter of self-discipline: the discipline to know that when you do something different, even if it takes you longer to get your orgasm, it will be more enjoyable when you finally get there, and both you and your partner will have a better sexual experience.
You'll notice of course that all of the things I'm talking about don't involve acrobatic sexual positions that stretch you to the limit. Sure, it can be fun to try the more outrageous sexual positions that are depicted on this website, but my point is that it isn't necessary.
You can have a huge amount of fun just by making small adjustments to the familiar positions.
So to illustrate that, let's take the man on top sexual position.
It's a very exciting position for most men, because it allows deep penetration, it gives them a feeling of dominance, and it permits very masculine thrusting. (Men, I'm sure you know what I mean!)
But here's something you may not know: the muscular tension that it takes to hold yourself up on your arms and possibly your legs generates a lot of tension in your body, around your pelvis and buttocks in particular, and this can make you ejaculate much faster. Click here to find out much more about this.
So it's possible that by making even small changes to the sexual positions you use most often, you'll be able to last much longer and perhaps even enjoy your partner's orgasm whilst you're still inside her. You might do that, for example, by rolling partly onto your sides so that you're not supporting your own weight, and thrusting more slowly whilst you stimulate your partner's clitoris with your fingers.
As a man, once you've experienced the excitement of your partner reaching orgasm whilst you're still making love to her, you'll probably want repeat the experience over and over again.
Which therefore raises the question of why man on top sex is so popular, when it can deprive both partners of this added pleasure? Part of the reason is undoubtedly that man on top sexual positions fulfill very deep desires and needs: the need of the man to feel dominant, to feel like he is "taking" his partner, and the need of the woman to feel safe and secure, submissive and "taken" by her man.
But I also think man on top sex is so common simply because it's so easy to do. It's the lovemaking position in which most people first experience sexual intercourse; it's comfortable, and of course you have great bodily contact and the opportunity to look at your partner while you make love..... But if man on top sex is popular just because it happens to be easy and simple to enjoy, then I think there's a pretty compelling case for getting out of this rut and trying some different positions for intercourse.
Fortunately, there's plenty of those to choose from on this website!
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But first, let's take a look at man on top sexual positions.
As you almost certainly know, unless you're a newbie at sex, the basic man on top sexual position is with the woman lying on her back with her legs apart, flat on the bed, while the man lies between them and supports his weight on his arms as he penetrates her. It's a great lovemaking position: you can kiss, you can look at each other, your chests make contact, and if the man arches his back he can kiss his partner's breasts And even better, it has so many variations that it offers endless possibilities for pleasure.
Most of variations consist of the woman raising her legs; firstly having her knees up with her feet flat on the bed; and then gradually bringing her knees back until they are on her chest, with her man either between them or even lying on them. And of course even that's not the full story with this wonderful position for sex.
It's possible for the woman to raise her legs vertically up in the air and place her feet or ankles on the man's shoulders, while he kneels on the bed with his torso vertically upright. It's very exciting position for couples to have sex for one thing, he can watch himself penetrate his partner and see his erect penis as it slides in and out between her labia, which can be incredibly arousing.
But the one thing that man on top sex tends not to produce is an orgasm for the woman. Now before we go any further, it's very important to realize that female orgasm during intercourse is an elusive goal. Very few women reach orgasm during intercourse, mostly I suspect, because they are not aroused enough when the man enters the vagina, and also because most men simply can't thrust for long enough to bring a woman to orgasm during intercourse. A third reason, of course, is that many women actually don't know that it's possible to reach orgasm through G spot stimulation alone, or they haven't yet developed the sensitivity in their G spot that will allow this to happen.
So one of the variations of man on top sexual positions that you might want to consider is the coital alignment technique or CAT.
It's a bit hard to understand how it works, but basically it's about getting stimulation to the woman's clitoris from the man's pubic region as you make love. This means that the man doesn't thrust, as he usually would in the man on top sexual position. Instead, he penetrates his partner then shifts his body upwards, so that as he rocks gently on her, and she responds to his movements by rocking in the opposite direction, his pubic region will rhythmically press on her clitoris, and eventually bring her to orgasm. You can find full instructions here, and good luck with it!
So how does the woman raising her legs make a difference to this sexual position?
As I said before, the main difference between sexual positions is the depth and angle of penetration, although of course there are also big differences in how much bodily contact you get. When a woman raises her legs, she dramatically alters the angle of her vagina, which profoundly changes the sensations which both partners are getting during intercourse.
Anything that makes her vagina tighter - which broadly speaking means any posture brings her legs closer together - will produce much greater friction on the man's penis, which can be delightful for him, unless for some reason his partner has some vaginal dryness, in which case he may experience some chafing to his penis.
Unfortunately, greater friction will also make him come much faster, so sex tends to end a great deal sooner when a woman brings her legs together!
Perhaps the most common and popular variation of the man on top position is the one where the woman puts her feet on the man's calves, with her legs and knees slightly raised.
Another very popular variation is for her to bring her legs together over the man's back as he makes love to her - some men find this delightful, because it gives them a feeling of being pulled deeper into their partner.
In general the higher a woman brings her legs, the deeper the penetration: men with a large penis may need to take care to avoid hitting their partner's cervix.... Many women report that this is an unpleasant experience during sex, although others say that if they are extremely aroused it can be highly pleasurable.
It's always very tempting for a man to succumb to his sexual instincts and, heaven knows, these do take over all-too-easily during lovemaking. That means deep thrusting, hard and fast, and a rapid ejaculation unless the man has superb self-control. (Not that there's anything wrong with that - unless of course his partner wants sex to last longer....)
And so....when a woman brings her legs back, allowing her partner deep access to her vagina through her fully opened vulva, the temptation for him to enter, to thrust, and to ejaculate can be almost irresistible.
That's why good communication is essential during sex: unless a woman makes it perfectly clear what she wants, she's not likely to get it. For a great sexual experience, women need to be aware that they have to make it very clear to their partners just what they want during lovemaking.
For some of the variations of man on top sex, you do have to be rather flexible, and in the one where the woman's legs go up on the man shoulders, it's also helpful if the man has a long penis so that he can achieve effective penetration. (By the way, on this website there are plenty of pages devoted to subjects such as the best sex positions for men with a small or large penis.)
But if you happen to be on the shorter aside, there's no need to feel deprived: there are plenty of variations where a short penis is a definite advantage and that definitely includes oral sex positions.
One of the things that makes sex good for both partners is the woman's ability to become aroused and to free herself from sexual inhibition. There's nothing as sexually exciting for a man as a turned on woman - except possibly a turned on woman that he's making love to.
Almost all men will have experienced that extraordinary interaction of their own sexual arousal with the arousal of their partner: it's not even clear how a man knows how turned on his partner is, but one thing's sure the more turned on his partner becomes, the more turned on the man becomes.
Now, one of the factors that determines how turned on a woman gets during sex is her ability to overcome inhibitions from childhood such as "good girls don't do that kind of thing" and the like.
To the extent that a woman can open herself sexually and freely, both literally and figuratively free herself and open herself up, the more she can enjoy sex and the more her partner will then enjoy sex with her.
I think one way that you see inhibitions during sex is in how willing a woman is to adopt a lovemaking position where she literally opens her legs to her man's gaze: there's a kind of protective urge in women to keep their genitals closed and private, and only when she feels very trusting and safe will she be willing to make herself vulnerable to the man in bed with her. (And yes, of course there are exceptions, such as sex workers: but I suspect very few sex workers really feel intimate and emotionally open with their clients.)
If you're a woman who constantly wants to make love in the safe, conventional, "good girl" sex positions, then there's a lot of experimentation for you to enjoy in throwing yourself into the downright sexuality of the rear entry position or the feminine power of the woman on top position!
Hints for women
You may think that with hundreds of generations of seduction skills behind them, women need no hints on how to make sex good for a man! But it's worth reiterating the point that three things make sex good for a man: warmth, wetness, and tightness..... And sure, there's the whole emotional side of it as well, but just for the moment let's focus on the physical.
Warmth comes naturally - it's a beautiful and exquisite sensation for a man when he enters you; wetness may or may not come naturally, but if you're a experiencing vaginal dryness don't hesitate to use artificial lube; and tightness well, I guess most women know how to tighten things up so that their man gets greater feeling (or comes faster), but if you don't, then it's worth researching Kegel exercises, which will allow you to squeeze your man's erect penis when he makes love to you.
So if you ask a woman why she likes sex with the man on top, she'll say:
And if you ask a man why he likes man on top sex, he'll say:
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