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Man On Top Sex Positions
A successful sexual relationship isn't just about positions. If you're having trouble communicating, or you're experiencing anger or hostility or a sense of distance from your partner, knowing about new ways to have sex may not make any difference to your love life. But, having said that, if your relationship is working reasonably well, but the spark of passion has left your sex life, trying out some new sex positions can add intimacy, connection and fun to your relationship. Considering how much time we all spend trying to get sex, or find a partner with whom we can enjoy lovemaking, it may be strange that we get bored with sex so easily. But sex is no different to any other human skill - it requires practice to do it well, and it requires new ideas and stimulation from time to time to ensure that it remains fresh and enjoyable. So, relax, get your partner alongside you, discuss these positions, and then have fun trying them out! Thrusting - or something else? We tend to think of intercourse or lovemaking as a penis-in-a-vagina experience that has to involve thrusting - the old in-out, in-out routine. But there are plenty of ways that a man and woman can achieve intimacy and fulfillment without vigorous penile thrusting. Once her man's penis is inside her, many women experience a sense of fulfillment and connection that is precious and important to them whether or not their man thrusts. And though men have a deep instinctual urge to thrust, they too can enjoy these gentle experiences of closeness and connection. Another possibility is to enjoy different kinds of movement once the man has inserted his penis - a gentle rocking motion or gentle circular movements of the hips is often enjoyable. And since the vagina is most sensitive nearest its outer edges, shallow penetration in which the man just inserts his penis an inch or two, then withdraws, and then gently re-enters to the same depth can be very teasing and enjoyable - especially if his partner can squeeze his penis with her vaginal muscles as he moves in and out! The man on top (or "missionary") position - the staple diet of sex We know more people have sex in man on top positions than any other, but funnily enough it never appears at the top of lists of people's favorites. Men's top two favorites are (1) rear entry with both partners kneeling, and (2) woman on top. The man on top comes in at number 4. For women, the top two favorites are (1) woman on top facing towards the man, and (2) woman on top facing away from the man. The man on top comes in at number 5.
Why is this? Could it be that even though we use the man on top such a lot, we secretly crave something more exciting? Or is it that we're all bored with the man on top but we do it because we think it's what our partner wants, without having ever actually asked them? It does seem strange, but sex is a personal and mysterious thing, and what couples say they want in surveys seems very different to what they actually do in the bedroom. Maybe the idea of rear entry appeals to men because of its raw animal lustiness, while women like the idea of woman on top because they fantasize about being dominant during sex. Meanwhile, in reality, we're all having man on top sex most of the time because what many men and women most want during sex is to feel intimate and connected to their partner. This may be why the man on top is the most common position couples actually use, for it certainly allows for great intimacy in the form of eye contact and full skin-to-skin contact and the ability to kiss and hold each other close. Also, some women seem to like the slight sense of being trapped or dominated by their partner if he is lying on top of them, and it can be very exciting for the man if the woman rests her feet on his calf muscles or wraps her legs around his back, drawing him in closely to her. And yet the man on top has a disadvantage for a woman - her pelvic movements can be restricted, so she cannot thrust as much, which means she must be more passive, and her clitoris is often not stimulated as much as in other positions - at least, it is certainly not available for the man or woman to play with. Unless she can come from vaginal thrusting alone (which is unusual), she may not have an orgasm unless the couple take care to ensure she gets one during foreplay or after intercourse. The man on top position described Most couples probably know how it works - the woman lies on her back with her legs apart and the man lowers himself on top of her, supporting his weight with his elbows, and enters her with his legs either inside or outside hers (usually inside). He may lower himself onto her and rest more of his weight on her body. The woman can wrap her legs around him to control the depth and speed of his thrusting into her vagina, or she may thrust a little towards him from her pelvis to match his movements in and out of her vagina. Basic man on top
The woman lies on her back with her legs spread apart (or closed - see below). The man then lowers himself on top of his partner with his arms supporting his weight. From this position he has the freedom to thrust or make circular movements with his thighs. If he lowers himself closer to her and rests some of his weight on top of her body, his pubic bone can provide gentle clitoral stimulation. The woman can thrust her middle body towards the man using the support of her legs, or grasp the man from behind which enables her to control his thrusting movements somewhat. Variations on the basic man on top The coital alignment technique
This is a way in which the woman's clitoris can be stimulated more than in the basic man on top. The man enters from between the woman's legs as he would normally, but he then moves further up the woman's body so that the base of his penis can make contact with her clitoris when he thrusts. The woman can wrap her legs around her partner's, placing her feet on his calves, stretching her legs slightly as she does so, which again tends to move her clitoris towards the man's penis. If she rocks her pelvis in this position, her clit should make contact with the base of the man's penis and she will be stimulated both internally and externally. Then, according to sex researcher Edward Eichel, "The subtle, coordinated rocking movement can begin. Here's the most important part: As she pushes up on the top of his shaft, he resists with less force than she pushes. Now, on the way back down, as he pushes down against her clitoris, she resists with less force than he pushes. The result is a series of "small collisions," rather than the standard friction of thrusting. But collisions is a strong word. The movement is subtle, coordinated, gentle, rhythmic, slow-building. Like everything in life, it takes practice. This is more than a position; it's a coordinated movement, Eichel explains. "We are now talking about vibration, not friction. Less in and out and more rock 'n' roll." "The man is actually shallow when the woman is getting the most stimulation on the downward push," Eichel says. Woman lifts her legs There are many ways both the man and the woman can move during the man on top which will alter what they both feel. The female partner may find that the man's penis stimulates her G-spot much more in certain positions, and that if he thrusts gently she may attain a state of increasing sexual energy which eventually leads to a G-spot or vaginal orgasm. For example, the woman can lift and bend her legs and place her feet on the mattress or on her partner's legs. The effect of this is enhanced if the woman moves her feet up to her partners' buttocks. (Which may also enhance the CAT described above.) Woman's legs locked around the man The higher the woman raises her legs, the deeper the man can enter her. If she is flexible enough to get her legs around his back, this will permit him to get deep into her - a delicious feeling for many women, and certainly rewarding for the man, although such deep penetration can cause him to ejaculate quite quickly. Many men seem to enjoy the feeling of their partner locking her legs around his back, but again this can cause him to come quickly. Presumably the reason is that it conveys how much she wants him inside her - and how much she wants him to come inside her vagina, which is a real turn-on for most men.
Woman's legs over man's shoulders As you might expect, this allows the deepest penetration of all. The man is likely to find this very stimulating, and get some good orgasms, but he needs to be respectful and considerate of his partner's needs. She may just find vaginal thrusting too painful and stimulating, and need him to back off a little if he gets too excited. Good communication between the partners will help enormously here. But it's a very satisfying position for both partners if they are flexible enough.
The man kneels for the man on top Here is one variation on the man on top which does allow the woman's clitoris to receive the attention it deserves! The man can pull the woman onto his penis by placing his hands on her thighs, and she can raise her legs in the most comfortable way - even up onto his shoulders if she wishes. The man can see himself going in and out of her vagina, which can be an incredible turn-on, and he can caress and stroke his partner's body and perhaps play with her anus as well if they wish. A good position for intimate connection, but somewhat of a strain for the woman if it goes on for too long. A pillow under her buttocks may help. The woman keeps her legs closed If the female partner keeps her legs together, the sensations will be different again. Obviously the tighter her vagina, the more intense the sensation for the man. A technique well worth experimenting with, though again the feeling of tightness may encourage the quick comers among men to shoot too fast. Most women enjoy the man on top position with legs apart. But it's also possible for her to keep her legs together, and in fact many couples prefer positions where the woman can keep her legs closed. This will usually produce more stimulation and somewhat different sensations. When her legs are closed, a woman’s vagina tightens around her partner’s penis giving more intense stimulation to both partners. This position also forces the man to enter from a sharper angle towards the clitoris adding more stimulation for the woman. The man in this position may also close his legs, placing all his weight on his partner. Careful here, some women appreciate this feeling, others are burdened by it!
Another variation, which will give great feeling for both partners:
A woman's viewpoint One of my favorite sex games is changing position: making a sexual encounter more than just him-on-top, her-on-top, doggy-style or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I do love the man-on-top sex position: feeling him on top of me, feeling his weight, with just that little frisson of being dominated (only by a loving, gentle, trusted partner, mind). It's a wonderful position for the initial coming together (so to speak!) and we can kiss and look at each other, and my hands are free to caress his back, bottom and even his balls with a bit of stretching. I can vary the position slightly by moving my legs: either clasped around his waist (that really excites him!), straight out, bent at the knees (allowing slightly deeper penetration) or very straight and almost together which means my thighs add pressure to his penis and balls. This last position usually means a bit of wriggling around by both man and woman to get it right, but it's worth it! However, rather than stay in the same sex position throughout our lovemaking, what I really like after a while is for us to roll on our sides - and it doesn't matter which way we turn, since we can vary it. We can see each other even better and I can reach round much more easily to find his balls and even caress the base of his penis as it slides in and out of me. I find it amazing that side by side sex positions are usually recommended only for fat people or pregnant women. Believe me, sex in this position is worth a try! And it's really easy once you get the knack. First of all, the woman needs to raise her legs, knees bent, until her thighs are level with the man's waist. This is important, unless you like crushed thighs! Now he needs to thrust deeply and hold his penis inside her. Now embrace each other firmly, decide which way you're going to roll (after you've done this a few times, and if you and your partner are closely tuned into each other, you'll probably find you don't have to think about this) and over you go! The woman's thigh which is underneath should feel quite comfortable if it is at her partner's waist level. If it's feeling squashed, simply adjust yourselves until it feels OK. Once you're comfortable, you'll be amazed how much variation you can bring to this sexual position. Let go of each other with your arms, and lean back a bit. This feels almost like sex in a scissors position since you are still closely joined, and it gives you a very good view of his penis pushing into your yoni. My man gets so excited by this, we sometimes have to pause for a few seconds to stop him coming straight away! Even more exciting is when I raise my leg high in the air (you can hold it there with your hand if raising your leg without support feels too strenuous). This position really opens out the whole vulva-penis-balls scenario and we can see the base of his penis glistening with my juices as he moves in and out of me. We can take turns to reach down and feel my hot, wet labia and of course it's easy to stroke my clitoris in this position too. Wow - I feel excited just writing about it! You'll find this position allows better visual scope all round than the man-on-top. It's wonderful for a sense of deep, spiritual connection during really exciting physical sex. You can talk, smile, look lovingly into each others' eyes, and if you are skilled in such matters you can send beautiful energy between your heart chakras as well as your sexual centers. It's also a very restful position for end of the day pre-sleep lovemaking when neither of you feels particularly like strenuous chandelier swinging. And you will find that even very small movements are deliciously sensitive. No wonder this position is one of our favorites! A man's viewpoint We had been having wonderful sex in the most common positions for several years before we discovered side by side sex. Maybe because our sex was always so wonderful we hadn't really explored anything other than man on top, woman on top and rear entry positions. But for some reason one day we decided to experiment; from the man on top position we rolled over onto our sides and, after getting my partner's legs in the right position (to avoid crushing them) we enjoyed a wonderful experience of lovemaking, about which you can find more on the side by side sex positions page. This isn't to say that side by side sex is better than man on top sex; not at all, it's simply to suggest that experimenting with different positions can be worthwhile. As far as man on top is concerned, it's another of my favorites. I love the sense of dominating my partner when I'm feeling my masculine power; I love the intimacy and connection when we're making love in a slow, emotionally connected way. The great thing about man on top - the bread and butter of sex, as one commentator described it - is that a man can experience the intimacy he may not feel in everyday life. Think about it: there's plenty of skin to skin contact, there's the ability to gaze into your partner's eyes and watch her reaction as she feels that ever-special moment of penetration (the supreme act of love for a woman), there's the incredible sense of warmth and wetness as her vagina envelops your penis, and there's the profound satisfaction of deep thrusting and, of course, ejaculation. For the female partner, there's the ability to lie back and enjoy it without having to make too much effort - though of course if she wants to thrust she can do so, albeit in a more limited way than in other positions. In the early days of our lovemaking I used to come quite quickly, which is one disadvantage of the man on top position - the deep hip thrusts a man can make tend to accelerate his progress towards orgasm. But as time has gone by this has become much less of a problem, and my ability to spin out our lovemaking has greatly improved, so that my partner is now able to enjoy the sense of having me inside her for much longer. What else about man on top sex? A few random thoughts: If you're lying on top of her rather than using one of the kneeling variations shown in the photos above, don't shout too loudly when you come, or your might deafen her! And if you're supported on your elbows, knees and arms, you shouldn't have much muscle strain as you make love in this position, which means that you don't have to worry too much about the physical effort of sex (compared, say, to the standing or even the rear entry positions), so you can focus much more on your actual sexual pleasure. This is often very great because man on top positions fulfill the male urge to dominate your partner, pin her down and have her just where you want her! I've found at times that the urge to thrust has been incredibly strong - almost irresistible - when I've been holding back so as to control my ejaculation. I think this demonstrates the deep instinctual urges that are aroused - and hopefully fulfilled - by man on top sex. In general though we find the kneeling variations of man on top are a lot less satisfying than the ones where both partners are basically lying down, though this may have something to do with our lack of flexibility and age! I would guess that for men who have a short penis it's difficult to get good penetration in the kneeling positions anyway. Since the woman is in a fairly relaxed position in man on top sex she has the freedom to play with her man's nipples, which some men find highly sensuous; and if she's so inclined, she can whisper dirty talk in your ear (as in "fuck my hot wet cunt", I mean)! This can be intensely erotic and make a man come pretty quickly if he's on the edge anyway. If she wraps her legs around her partner's buttocks and pulls him in towards her, while thrusting her hips and giving him verbal encouragement, the result can be a pretty powerful orgasm! One final word: I've come to realize that many more men have difficulty with retarded ejaculation than ever seek help for it. This condition, also known as delayed ejaculation or male orgasmic disorder, is the inability to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse. There are a significant number of men (about 4% by all accounts) who can thrust away for ages during intercourse and yet never have an orgasm - or they may finally have one with great difficulty when the woman is tired and sore, and the man is worn out! This condition is curable with self help treatments. There is a similar condition in women, known as anorgasmia. But to repeat - both these conditions can be overcome by using self-help treatment programs. Both men and women can enjoy orgasms easily - but you may need to work at it if you are currently experiencing any kind of anorgasmia. Why the man on top sex position is good for women! This is a small sample of comments received in response to an invitation to women to tell us their favorite sexual positions * My favorite position for sex is man on top, with a pillow under my hips, and him up on his arms (like doing a push up). I get to watch his muscles flex and strain, and it hits spots that make me scream. It's all good! * Watching a man orgasm is one of the greatest sights I've witnessed. Man on top used to get such a bad rap, but I'm hearing more and more women praise it. It gets my vote, because no other position feels as good to me. The eye contact during man on top sex is another great reason for its success. Also, he can kiss my breasts and tease my nipples, which goes straight to my vagina and clit and makes me lubricate even more. * With the man on top, kissing can be so fantastic. I absolutely love being kissed by a man while his cock is buried as deeply into me as he can go. Talk about romantic. Wow! * My favorite sex position is man on top. He shifts his body up so I can keep my clit in contact with his body and feel the pressure on it from his pubic mound. I think it's the fact I can control the pressure and control when I come that makes it so good. But I also like to be on top watching him go into ecstasy as I ride him - that is such a powerful feeling, to give him such pleasure. * I love sex with my husband on top and my legs over his shoulders...also doggy style positions. * Man on top is how we always finish since it's such a favorite. First he lies close on me, then he raises up on his arms, so he can watch his penis moving in and out of me - that is such a turn on for a man - and I love watching his face contort and hearing him shout as he comes with such power, so deep inside me. * My favorite sex position is man on top, with him up on his straight arms, looking down at my body. Why? Because I love watching the passion on his face. |
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