Sex Techniques and Positions
The best guide to sex positions and lovemaking techniques on the Internet.
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Sex Positions For the Disabled
The most difficult adjustment for disabled people may be around sexual activities. Disabled people may question if they can have children, if they are sexually desirable, or (if they are newly disabled) if they can ever have sex again. A disabled person may have low sexual-esteem or confidence, and may regard satisfying and enjoyable sex as something impossible for them to achieve.
We make assumptions about disabled people that have no bearing on reality or who they are as people. High on this list is the assumption that disabled people are somehow asexual. But of course people who are less able still have sexual needs and rights and expectations around sex. At the very least they still need to enjoy human contact and relationships, whether these are sexual or not.
One of the biggest problems for disabled people is obtaining information about sexuality and intimacy. They may believe that because they have suffered some sensation loss in their genitalia that sexual relationships and intimacy are not possible. As a result some may decide to ignore the possibility of sex, while others seek out every way in which they can gain sexual experience and rebuild their sexual self-confidence, including using paid sex workers or sexual surrogates.
It is natural for anybody to feel anxious, angry, and grieving after the loss of their normal sexual ability. To discover what suits a disabled person sexually requires the courage to experiment, a degree of imagination to overcome the disability, and the process of coming to terms with the new body image that results from the disability. All of these issues are just as true for people with long-standing disabilities as new disabilities.
The reassuring thing is that almost everyone can enjoy some form of sexual activity or sensuality no matter what their disability may be. When you experiment to discover new forms of sexual expression it's useful to be in a relaxed and sexual frame of mind. This will help you laugh off anything that goes wrong, while gaining the maximum benefit from anything that you do discover about the sexual possibilities that are open to you.
Of course it is a mistake to think that there are specific sexual positions reserved for disabled people! The reality of course is that there are a huge number of sexual positions any of which may or may not be suitable for you, just as they may or may not be suitable for anyone without a disability. If you try any of these positions and feel uncomfortable, stop what you are doing and try something else. It's helpful to take responsibility for your well-being before you start, and that might include taking responsibility for protecting yourself from sexually transmitted infections as well as ensuring that you don't strain or injure yourself. Remember also that penetration is not essential to good sex; there are many other ways of enjoying your body without full penetration and hard thrusting. Indeed, penetration does not have to be deep for both partners to find it very enjoyable.
Initially it's probably a good idea to start with the best sexual positions - those with no great effort or exertion. High on the list of these positions would be one known as the T position. The woman lies on her back with a knees up and her legs apart. Her partner lies on his side at right angles to her with his hips under the arch formed by her legs as he penetrates her.
Using as many sexual positions as you are able to within the confines of your disability will keep your relationship fresh and exciting, and provide intimacy and connection between the two of you. Even if getting it right the first time proves challenging, a sense of humor can enable you to see the funny side of your attempts at intimacy, while still reinforcing your relationship and improving your sexual self-esteem. It's also highly likely that enjoying sex with your partner will enable you to reinforce your love for each other. So, if you think about all the pleasure that lies ahead of you, rather than the disappointments that may occur, you're more likely to enjoy learning new sexual positions - and keep in mind there's no reason to feel bad if things go wrong. Our suggestion is to try as many sex positions as you possibly can so that you really expand your sexual experience and therefore hopefully your sexual pleasure!
Woman On Top Sex Position
This of course is a classic sex position for all people, disabled or not. It has the advantage that the man can lie on his back without having to make sexual thrusts while his partner either lies on top of him or sits on top of him; in either case his erect penis will be inside her. She has the ability to ride his penis while also stimulating her clitoris (though of course this can be done by the man, and he can also caressing her breasts as the couple enjoy intercourse), so she may enjoy an orgasm during intercourse. If the man is able to thrust he can move his hips slightly, and of course with his partner leans forward their bodies will be in contact from the waist upwards, providing intimacy and the opportunity to kiss. Woman on top provides the opportunity for deep penetration and prolonged sexual pleasure as men tend not to come quite so quickly when they cannot make deep pelvis thrusts.
Woman Lying, Rear Entry Sex Position
This position may suit couples where the woman is less mobile: if she is lying on the bed face downwards, with her legs apart, it may be possible for the man to penetrate her if he kneels behind her between her legs. This may be easier for a man whose erection angle is lower than horizontal. It may also be easier if the woman's hips and pelvis are raised slightly on a pillow. Clearly, one big disadvantage of this position is that the woman's clitoris is not particularly accessible although a vibrator may be placed under her so that she can enjoy an orgasm during sex. This sex position can be arousing for the man as he sees his partner's bottom and his penis penetrating her as they enjoy intercourse.
Man On Top Sex Position
As the woman lies on the bed with a pillow to support her head and eye she does so brings her knees up towards her breasts - she may or may not wish to cross her legs at the ankles to alter the tightness of her vagina. Once again, the man kneels between her legs as he enters her. This is only possible for couples with considerable flexibility. However the position allows the woman to tighten the muscles around the vagina and pelvis, which can be very pleasurable for both the man and the woman as it provides more friction during penetration. If the woman wraps her legs around the man she can pull him into her providing a sense of great intimacy and sexual connection between the two partners.
Sex Positions - Woman Lying, Man Standing
If the woman is able to lie on her back with her vagina at the height of the man's erection, perhaps on the edge of a table or desk, he can hold her legs vertically upright against his chest as he enters her vagina from a standing position. Clearly this will be beneficial where the man has the ability to stand and the woman has less flexibility or mobility. It's an arousing position for him and it provides deep penetration which may be satisfying for both partners.
It may be an unfashionable thing to say, but there is no reason why disabled people should not achieve as high a level of sexual pleasure as anyone else. So, if you have any sexual issues like premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, you should get treatment to improve the quality of your sex life just as any other couple would.