Sex Techniques and Positions 

The best guide to sex and lovemaking on the Internet.

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Sitting sex - a restful way to make love

If you're starting out in your sex life, one sex position you may not have tried is sitting. It seems to be a position that couples don't use until they're more experienced - or perhaps it's one that helps to relieve the boredom or sense of routine that can creep into a sexual relationship after a while. Whatever, it's not a very popular or common position. In one survey by Vulva Velvet, it transpired that only 1.2% of couples said this was their favorite sex position, and only 5% used it regularly. 

But sitting sex does offer several benefits. A firm chair where both partners can get their legs over the sides and their feet onto the floor gives more support than a bed, so there's more stability as you make love. This means the woman has more control over the depth of penetration and the pace of lovemaking. Thus sex can equally well be spontaneous and passionate or slow and loving; in this sitting position, especially if the woman is facing her partner, sex can be gentle, romantic and cuddly, with plenty of kissing, touching and caressing, or it can be fast, exciting and rollicking with passion. 

It's harder to make love in an armchair; the woman will have to squat with her thighs folded if she faces her man, unless he is so slumped that she can sit astride his thighs with her feet on the floor. An alternative position here is for her to sit facing away from her man, so that she basically sits in his lap and the couple enjoy a sitting form of rear entry sex. This can be very exciting and erotic: she can wriggle her hips and pelvis to enhance both her own and her partner's pleasure, either she or he can get to her clitoris, and he can enjoy the feel of her buttocks in his lap.

The third major sitting sex position is for the couple to sit on a bed - the man has his legs over the edge, while his partner sits on his lap facing towards him, her legs clasped behind his waist with her feet resting on the bed. This position has ample scope for the couple to caress, kiss and explore each other's bodies as passionately as if they were in the early stages of their love affair.

Most difficult of all is the variation where the man and the woman both sit on the bed, clasping each other with their legs around the waist. This requires a fair degree of flexibility and may not be possible for all couples. Indeed, even those who can manage it may wish to have some kind of back support. Obviously the woman will be sitting in the man's lap. One of the advantages of this position is that you can adopt an almost meditative pose and extend sexual intercourse for as long as you wish - small pelvic  movements will keep him erect, and her aroused - while you center your sexual energy centers and visualize the flow of energy around your bodies. The higher the woman holds her knees, effectively the shorter her vagina will become.

In general, sitting positions may not give as much sensation as some of the more traditional man on top or woman on top positions, but the naughty thrill of sitting sex may make up for this. If you happen to be kissing and cuddling in a chair, it's not hard to make the transition into full-blown sex, partly or fully clothed, with a few adjustments to your position. Once again, the partner on top - generally the woman - is the one who has the most opportunity to move and control the pace of sex; though in some cases the man will be able to move and can help his partner to move by lifting her with his hands under her buttocks - which they are both likely to find rather erotic.

One of the nicest things about face to face sex is the closeness and extensive body contact that you can enjoy; in fact, this is what helps to give sitting sex a strong feeling of intimacy and connection.

Of course, it's arguable that many of the positions we have described on other pages fall into the category of sitting sex: for example, does "sitting sex" include a position where the woman is sitting on top of her man as he lies on the bed? We believe it doesn't matter. There are no hard and fast rules about sex - and indeed different categories may serve no useful purpose other than to satisfy our wish to classify things.